What would you do???

Finallyownhorse · 04-09-2008, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Then get out of the middle and call the AC.

I FULLY agree. You have tried. Next your friendship will suffer and the horses will still be in the same situtation.

cedesmom · 04-11-2008, 09:42 AM

I have actually told her that I have helped all I can and that shes on her own.She started crying and said "well I really appreciate all you have done and I am sorry that my husband is being a pain and hopefully when I need to call on you again you can help " sooo to me what this means is that she would like for me to continue to help her feed them and get nothing in return. So I just told her flat out that I wouldn't be doing anything further to feed her animals . I am trying to use the tough love method with her and stop giving handouts. Thanks for all the advice everyone.

Haas Horse Farm · 04-11-2008, 09:59 AM

Hugs... she is wanting you to keep being the crutch. That just is not fair on her part. Sorry but you are doing the right thing. IMHO she is abusing your friendship because her DH is being a jerk.

Finallyownhorse · 04-11-2008, 11:32 AM

I think you are doing the right thing. Haas is right again. She is abusing the friendship. You are a great friend for doing as much as you did.

mammamia · 04-11-2008, 05:38 PM

Hugs, sometimes the best help is not helping at all......

angie j · 04-12-2008, 01:17 AM

I'm so sorry for you; You are a good friend.
Ihad a situation much the same some years past. not a horse, but: a dog, 3 cats, 2 rabbits,various hamster/guinipigs... all dropped off by a 'friend'. She said she was evicted (had 2 months notice to find a place for her pets) and that I 'needed' to keep them for her..(oh, did I add that she brought them over when I was out, so I had no choice but accept).. I said another dog was too much for me, but she begged "just overnight, so I can work something out," What she 'realy' meant was "Until you won't take it any longer, I'm gonna rely on you." 4 Days later, after zero contact from her I called the Human Society and they took them for me.

She never spoke to me again. ButI had been helping her feed those animals for over a year: she came and took bags of dog food, I bought her 2 bales of hay for her rabbits, bought her catfood when she needed it (she had racked up a bill at the local Pet shop for $400 and they wouldn't give her any more credit)..... Sometime people will "love their animals 'to death'" More than one expired in her care at that time, because she just 'loved' them to much to give them away to someone who could care for them properly.

Your friend was given a wonderful and generous offer by you! Shame on her for not taking it and still being able to visit her pets, knowing they are well cared for, while still offering you something in return. HUGS to you at this hard time.

Angie J

Haas Horse Farm · 04-12-2008, 07:44 AM

The best "revenge" I ever got on someone like that was having the feed store he owed money to send him a noticed saying that his bill was paid in full. The guys name was Bill, also and he would not open the envelope from the feed store because he figured it was just another Bill. I saw him uptown one day and the feed store owners son asked him if he got the note from me that they had sent a couple months back. Bill of course said no. So the feed store owners son said well if you had you might have been surprised because your bill is paid in full. At least Bill had the decency to look embarrassed.

cedesmom · 04-13-2008, 03:03 PM

That was a pretty good one you pulled on him. She actually took the little mini stallion to the horse sale on friday, and of course called in on me to borrow a saddle thats for my mini, I didn't want to but figured I would since she was trying to get rid of him but only on the condition that she must bring the saddle home immediately after the sale. which brought her to say oh welll it will probably be late, so how about tomorrow? I said oh don't worry its the weekend I will be up late antway I will wait up for you. She didn't like it but agreed. When she brought it back that night she told me she had been offered 150.00 for the horse and she no saled him causing her to have spent 88.00 verses paying her fees and even having a little to put in her pocket. some people are just so dumb!!!! Anyway now poor little guy will probably starve, but I showed no signs of even caring when she was all upset over the price someone offered I just in an uncaring tone said to her well what did you expect look at him I would've been ashamed to even take him in the first place. Needless to say I haven't heard from her again.

angie j · 04-14-2008, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haas Horse Farm

The best "revenge" I ever got on someone like that was having the feed store he owed money to send him a noticed saying that his bill was paid in full.

The kindness of people never ceases to amaze me! Sadly, this was also the case with my friend... her bill was paid by someone annonomously (sp)... She 'again' racked up another $500 credit and was cut off, in time. I never mind lending a helping hand, as is the nature of so many kind hearted people, but, there comes a time when you have to realize, "I just can't afford what I have comitted to anymore," and place them where it is a better situation.

Angie J

Reitpferde · 04-14-2008, 08:46 AM

What a horrible situation. Sounds to me like the friendship is already strained. Certainly, not because of you. I can't help but wonder, if they are trying to "coerce" you into paying asking price. They both know how concerned you are. Sounds all too manipulative to me. If you decide to help out in anyway, DEFINITELY write up an agreement and then expect the agreement to be broken and you ending up in court! Sorry to be so negative, but I have seen this before

04-11-2008, 11:32 AM	#14
Finallyownhorse Senior Member+ Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Southeastern South Dakota Posts: 1,848 Images: 157	I think you are doing the right thing. Haas is right again. She is abusing the friendship. You are a great friend for doing as much as you did. __________________ Vanna, 21 year old Appaloosa mare Ace, 23 year old Solid Paint gelding Sammy, 10 year old Mustapaint

04-14-2008, 08:46 AM	#20
Reitpferde Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Central New Jersey Posts: 677 Images: 9	What a horrible situation. Sounds to me like the friendship is already strained. Certainly, not because of you. I can't help but wonder, if they are trying to "coerce" you into paying asking price. They both know how concerned you are. Sounds all too manipulative to me. If you decide to help out in anyway, DEFINITELY write up an agreement and then expect the agreement to be broken and you ending up in court! Sorry to be so negative, but I have seen this before __________________ Mom to two teenagers, a QH, a TB, and a German Shepherd, aka pony...

04-11-2008, 09:42 AM	#12
cedesmom Full Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: out in nc Posts: 125 Images: 61	I have actually told her that I have helped all I can and that shes on her own.She started crying and said "well I really appreciate all you have done and I am sorry that my husband is being a pain and hopefully when I need to call on you again you can help " sooo to me what this means is that she would like for me to continue to help her feed them and get nothing in return. So I just told her flat out that I wouldn't be doing anything further to feed her animals . I am trying to use the tough love method with her and stop giving handouts. Thanks for all the advice everyone.

04-11-2008, 05:38 PM	#15
mammamia Full Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 96	Hugs, sometimes the best help is not helping at all......

04-12-2008, 01:17 AM	#16
angie j Senior Member+ Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 472	I'm so sorry for you; You are a good friend. Ihad a situation much the same some years past. not a horse, but: a dog, 3 cats, 2 rabbits,various hamster/guinipigs... all dropped off by a 'friend'. She said she was evicted (had 2 months notice to find a place for her pets) and that I 'needed' to keep them for her..(oh, did I add that she brought them over when I was out, so I had no choice but accept).. I said another dog was too much for me, but she begged "just overnight, so I can work something out," What she 'realy' meant was "Until you won't take it any longer, I'm gonna rely on you." 4 Days later, after zero contact from her I called the Human Society and they took them for me. She never spoke to me again. ButI had been helping her feed those animals for over a year: she came and took bags of dog food, I bought her 2 bales of hay for her rabbits, bought her catfood when she needed it (she had racked up a bill at the local Pet shop for $400 and they wouldn't give her any more credit)..... Sometime people will "love their animals 'to death'" More than one expired in her care at that time, because she just 'loved' them to much to give them away to someone who could care for them properly. Your friend was given a wonderful and generous offer by you! Shame on her for not taking it and still being able to visit her pets, knowing they are well cared for, while still offering you something in return. HUGS to you at this hard time. Angie J

04-13-2008, 03:03 PM	#18
cedesmom Full Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: out in nc Posts: 125 Images: 61	That was a pretty good one you pulled on him. She actually took the little mini stallion to the horse sale on friday, and of course called in on me to borrow a saddle thats for my mini, I didn't want to but figured I would since she was trying to get rid of him but only on the condition that she must bring the saddle home immediately after the sale. which brought her to say oh welll it will probably be late, so how about tomorrow? I said oh don't worry its the weekend I will be up late antway I will wait up for you. She didn't like it but agreed. When she brought it back that night she told me she had been offered 150.00 for the horse and she no saled him causing her to have spent 88.00 verses paying her fees and even having a little to put in her pocket. some people are just so dumb!!!! Anyway now poor little guy will probably starve, but I showed no signs of even caring when she was all upset over the price someone offered I just in an uncaring tone said to her well what did you expect look at him I would've been ashamed to even take him in the first place. Needless to say I haven't heard from her again.