[NotFadeAway]

So...I have a friend....who I met from another friend....Who has some problems.
He doesent do much subtance abuse or anything like that besides smoking (which I cant really talk) and some alcoholism.
He is very depressive....And aparently his mom just died. I have no clue how..but yeah...aparently he found her dead.He has no self esteem, no hope in life. I really feel sorry for him and want to help him. He doesent seem to want it from me....he did but now he doesent.
He says no one cares about him....but what happened when I try to show him otherwise? well nothing yet..but he isent being very repsonsive when I try to talk to him.
I just dont know what to do. Im thinking I should just leave him alone.
I guess Im not the right person to do it eh? Lol.

[MyBabyTex]

Life lesson: You can't help those that don't want to be helped.

Just be supportive... it's all you can really do in that situation.

[NotFadeAway]

*sigh*
Bump

[Why?]

Yes if he doesn't want help he is not going to let anyone help. Just keep talking to him mabey he will start to trust you more.

[Jenje!]

Pushing yourself on him isn't going to make much of a difference unfortunately. Let him know you're available if he wants to talk, then back off. If you think he's going to hurt himself, call the cops. That's about all you can do.

[Stormyheart6160]

As the others have said....you can't help someone who doesn't want help.

Don't try to push any counseling on him, or lecture him. At this point, I would just be his friend, and visit regularly. Try to get him out and about, as that will help to take his mind off his troubles. Also, don't "feed" his depression by constantly asking him how he's feeling. Just act normal when you are around him. Try to give him things and reasons to feel positive.

[ches]

He sounds like an emotional black hole - he sucks it all out of you with nothing to show for it.

Rule No 1: you can't force someone to take help.
Rule No 2: unless you're a trained psychologist/psychiatrist, you probably can't give the type of help he needs.

If he truly is an alcoholic and you know he drives while intoxicated, the best you could probably do for him is call the cops on him, let him get a DUI and then state-mandated counseling. It would force him to face up to his problems, and get another drunk driver off the roads.

[Stormyheart6160]

Originally Posted by ches

He sounds like an emotional black hole - he sucks it all out of you with nothing to show for it.

Rule No 1: you can't force someone to take help.
Rule No 2: unless you're a trained psychologist/psychiatrist, you probably can't give the type of help he needs.

If he truly is an alcoholic and you know he drives while intoxicated, the best you could probably do for him is call the cops on him, let him get a DUI and then state-mandated counseling. It would force him to face up to his problems, and get another drunk driver off the roads.

That might get him off the road for a little while, but.....


Putting him into a state mandated counseling program......he will only be there because he "has to", not because he recognizes that he has a problem and needs help. Alot of times, those forced programs don't help, and only create more resentment and ill feelings.

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink".

[bnttyra]

Some people need to hit rock bottom before they are ready to get help. Just be there for him when he is ready for your support!

[ches]

Originally Posted by stormyheart6160

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink".

Well sure, but if he doesn't "drink" he ends up in the "clink." When faced with drying out in prison, some people are a little more motivated than before.