Some takes on life !!!! LOL

Dancinglite · 04-10-2005, 07:52 AM

Well here are your laughs for the day.

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences...
He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.

12. God must love innocent people; He made me that way.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.

17. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

20. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

22. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.

23. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for
a pig.

.

cassidy · 04-10-2005, 07:57 AM

lol DL have you been eating that sauce! lmao!

CJ · 04-10-2005, 08:04 AM

Heehehehehe, great!

i_luv_wildfire · 04-10-2005, 08:05 AM

LOL, do you mind if I use one of those for my signature?

Dancinglite · 04-10-2005, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassidy

lol DL have you been eating that sauce! lmao!

All I have to do is lay on my back and just let it drip right in. Saves me a pile of work.

Dancinglite · 04-10-2005, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by i_luv_wildfire

LOL, do you mind if I use one of those for my signature?

Please do...........which one ???

arabianlvr87 · 04-10-2005, 08:10 AM

LOL, those are way too funny! Did you come up with them yourself?

i_luv_wildfire · 04-10-2005, 08:10 AM

The one about the voices...I might also put something in about my friends the elephants.

Elia · 04-10-2005, 08:10 AM

haha. I've seen some of those before and they're still funny

*Psylocke* · 04-10-2005, 08:13 AM

LOL I love em DL!!! Sooo funny! Some I had heard before ( I used to have a button on my purse when I was in HS that read "Tell ur little voices to shut up! I cant hear mine!")

Psy

04-10-2005, 07:52 AM	#1
Dancinglite Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,973 Blog Entries: 13	Some takes on life !!!! LOL Well here are your laughs for the day. 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences... He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! 4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing. 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12. God must love innocent people; He made me that way. 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it. 17. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up. 18. Procrastinate Now! 19. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 20. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 21. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 22. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 23. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. .

04-10-2005, 07:57 AM	#2
cassidy Senior Member+ Join Date: May 2004 Location: england - its sunny sometimes honest! Posts: 21,789 Images: 843	lol DL have you been eating that sauce! lmao! __________________ bluebell , haribo , william & lil bill May your life be like toilet paper - Long and useful A horse doesn't care how much you know until he knows how much you care. - Pat Parelli http://www.freewebs.com/linz88055/myprofile.htm

04-10-2005, 08:04 AM	#3
CJ Senior Member+ Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: NJ Posts: 5,983 Images: 48	Heehehehehe, great! __________________ One Mare Can Make a Difference Pinky Ribbon

04-10-2005, 08:05 AM	#4
i_luv_wildfire Senior Member+ Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: At the barn Posts: 4,190 Images: 214 Blog Entries: 3	LOL, do you mind if I use one of those for my signature? __________________ *equestrian sports...* strength \| determination \| energy \| heart eat. sleep. ride.

04-10-2005, 08:10 AM	#8
i_luv_wildfire Senior Member+ Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: At the barn Posts: 4,190 Images: 214 Blog Entries: 3	The one about the voices...I might also put something in about my friends the elephants. __________________ *equestrian sports...* strength \| determination \| energy \| heart eat. sleep. ride.

04-10-2005, 08:10 AM	#7
arabianlvr87 Senior Member+ Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,567 Images: 294 Blog Entries: 158	LOL, those are way too funny! Did you come up with them yourself?

04-10-2005, 08:10 AM	#9
Elia Senior Member+ Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Earth, of course. Posts: 307 Blog Entries: 16	haha. I've seen some of those before and they're still funny __________________ "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." ~Maya Angelou

04-10-2005, 08:13 AM	#10
Psylocke Senior Member+ Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: I.....AM....CANADIAN! Posts: 5,159 Images: 70 Blog Entries: 32	LOL I love em DL!!! Sooo funny! Some I had heard before ( I used to have a button on my purse when I was in HS that read "Tell ur little voices to shut up! I cant hear mine!") Psy __________________ You just have to consider the possibility that everyone else may be wrong -- Sean Penn I've been snowballed.....twice!

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