[Topsyturvyuu]

So I found some jokes and pranks online thought they were funny and decided to post them here.

A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO".

The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him.

"Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" he asked.

"No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds.

"It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only'


Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are,...very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."



1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.

4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.

7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"

20. Meow occasionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.

25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"

29. Leave a box between the doors.

30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.

32. Start a sing-along.

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica.

36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.

37. Lean against the button panel.

38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.

39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".

41. Bring a chair along.

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

43. Blow spit bubbles.

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."



Things to do at Target (just a few) :

1. Ask a random passerby for $20.00

3. Go over to the food department and scream its all poisoned!

4. Ask the cashiers where they get the red vests.

5. Get a chainsaw and run after someone saying they need a haircut





Things To Do AT WalMart

• Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
  
  2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
  
  3. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”
  
  4. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
  
  5. Put M&M's on layaway.
  
  6. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
• 
  7. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
  
  8. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you're walking through the doors act like you're expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.
  
  9.
  
  10. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

THINGS TO DO AT THE MOVIES:

1.When you are choosing a seat, point at someone and say loudly in a childish voice, "I don't want to sit by that guy, he smells funny!"

2. Everytime there is a gun shot, scream, "Hit the floooor!", jump to the floor and cover your head.

3. Quote all dialogue five seconds after it's said on screen.

4. Ask the person at the ticket counter "Do you come here often?"

5. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

6. During the previews, yell out "Can you fast foward it please?"

7. Go "Ooooooooooh...." whenever someone kisses.

8. Wear a huge fake afro wig, blocking the person behind you's view.

9. Ask a friend to sit four seats beside you and
to call you to your mobile phone, answer after a few rings and start to talk loudly about any annoying subjects you can or about the movie.



Out the window
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."



Hope you liked them!

[I LUV BESS]

haha love them!! ive done quite a few of those things haha

[LuvMy2Horses]

OMG, I will be sure to NEVER show this to my brother.He would do all of it.He once asked a little kid if he wanted candy while in his car!He was joking but the dad came and got the kid.Then he would randomly talk to people in wolly world acting like an idot.Not to mention halloween he ran through walmart scaring kids with a mask!Lol.

Those are too funny!!!LOL!!!

[Topsyturvyuu]

LOL hahaha! Thats funny!

[arabianlover]

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.

or just use your hand
my youth pastor did this in a skit..which was hilarious.

the best thing is..im 16..and can look pretty young.
i get away with anything.haha

[Topsyturvyuu]

hahaha.

[Missytwoshoes]

I've done so much of this. Its great. People look at you like your crazy but dont say a thing. My friends and I broke up in walmart one time when there was like 20 of us we'd be in the same department spread out. Through cell phone you call each other tell them what you did to who and have them repeat it. Its great because the people get really freaked out after 5 people they dont remember come up at different time its so great to see you. Oh how immature am I...

[Topsyturvyuu]

Sounds like you had a lot of fun though!