[bugsys22575]

Hmmm. Yes I did drink in HS. My mom may not have been aware how often I drank, but she did know that I did, and simply told me to call her if I needed a ride. And I often did call her when I needed a sober ride home. MANY of my friends had DUI's by the time they were a legal drinking age. Yes, there were a couple times that I felt in my gut I shouldnt have been in the car with someone. But those times were few and far between becasue I knew my mom would come and get me, no questions asked.

Now, do I feel the same about MY daughter drinking underage? I have mixed feelings on this. I had the drinking bug completely out of my system by the time I was 21. I have not had a drink in YEARS. BUT, I got pregnant at 17. I am 27 years old and have an almost 9 yo daughter. Was alcohol partly to blame for my teen pregnancy? Well, to be honest, I dont know. Maybe. What I can say is that my early experiences in a grown-up world left me grown up forever. Since HS, I have not been able to maintain friendships with people my own age, simply because they are at different stages of their lives than me. Im "old". I feel old. And I cant change the past.

I made A LOT of bad choices when I was growing up. I want to have a relationship with my daughter that allows her to come to me when she needs me. BUT I dont want her to make the same mistakes as I, so I dont want to "condone" the behavior either. So, Im hoping there is a middle ground that we can stand on that will give us the best of both worlds.

[farmeress]

In my blogs are two stories of how my mom "handled" drinking...lol.

She left it up to the siblings...have to say...we were the absolute greatest deterents after my sister and brothers' experience.

I was lucky...Hollymare and Roxy have never had the "taste" for alcohol...so no problem for me.

Even my SIL with boys...had no problem with this.....we had a couple of alcoholics that left an everlasting impression on the rest of us about drinking.

[Jim_in_PA]

I would really like to be able to say that it would "end really fast", but that may not be realistic. I'm sure the usual withdrawal of privileges would occur, etc., but honestly, I don't know that it would guarantee a change in behavior for a kid who was willful enough not to care. (I worry about my 14 year old in that respect--she has major issues that I'll not go into here, but let's just say I'm concerned big time)

I think the best we can do is try to teach good decision making.

[BlingRacer]

I did not drink as a teenager, except with my parents permission. They allowed me to have champagane on new years usually and occasionally a small glass of wine cooler on the 4th of July. I figured out real quick from that that drinking simply wasn't all that interesting, and to this day I very rarely drink (and never to excess).

America promotes a wild, forbidden fruit culture around alcohol leading to a lot of underage drinking....It is interesting to note that countries who do not have this concept of alcohol have significantly lower levels of alcoholism, teenager drunkeness, etc. When kids grow up having a half glass of wine with dinner, they don't see anything naughty, fun, or rebellious about drinking behind their parents backs.

[horse_freak001]

Originally Posted by BlingRacer

America promotes a wild, forbidden fruit culture around alcohol leading to a lot of underage drinking....It is interesting to note that countries who do not have this concept of alcohol have significantly lower levels of alcoholism, teenager drunkeness, etc. When kids grow up having a half glass of wine with dinner, they don't see anything naughty, fun, or rebellious about drinking behind their parents backs.

I noticed that a lot when I was in Italy. Kids there drink all the time at 13 at the beach and the cafes. They even buy it themselves. That being said, it doesn't mean that teens there don't party hard and get drunk either...

[notanumber]

I had my first drink at 17 (19 is legal age here), just one beer. My parents are very conservative, so I never told them about me drinking and it's still a topic that I do not discuss with them (even at 22) because of how anti-alcohol they are. I once bought a bottle of VSOP Cognac, very nice stuff as a treat for myself at 19. I put a little in my coffee and kept the rest hidden in my room. My mom smelled the liqeur and made me pour out the entire bottle (about $100). I never drank at home again.

My feelings on this may change, but right now I would not discipline my kids for 'underage drinking'. Age is just one factor to consider. The legal age here is 19, in the next province over it's 18, and in the US it's 21. If my 18 y/o wanted to have a beer with dinner I would probably say 'sure'. I think it becomes more of an issue when parents act like a brick wall on the subject, because then their kids learn that this is an issue that they cannot discuss with their parents in any way. Each case must be looked at individually, with different consequences and different levels of flexibility. I would rather be flexible and have my teen come home to vomit in our toilet, rather than have him or her pass out at a friend's party and be raped, or try to drive home and end up in an accident. 'Forbidden fruit' is the greatest temptation.

[all4him]

I would discipline my kids for underage drinking. They would be grounded and would have to earn back my trust. We've taught our kids the good and bad of alcohol and we have it in the house, although we do not drink it (I have some recipes that call for alcohol so we have wine and vodka in the house for those things). Drinking age here is 21 and I fully expect them to follow the rules and not drink before that age. If they choose to drink after that, it's their choice but I DO expect them to do it wisely. We're fortunate that both of my teens do not hang out with those who drink and both have told us that they have no desire to drink. My daughter's boyfriend even came to us to tell us that he had done some drinking in the past and was caught by his father, he was severely punished (he cannot get his learner's permit until he's 18!!) and he for sure as shooting will not drink again before age 21 and he's honestly not sure he'll drink after that. I trust him because this was something he came to US about - it's not something we heard through the grapevine or anything.

What I find really sad is parents who model for their children that there's no fun life aside from drinking. I see parents who can ONLY have fun while drinking but we hope to model that you can have fun having some pop and chips instead. It's not the beverage but those who you are with and what you're doing together.

[turn-n-burn5477]

Honestly, I am 18 and don't find drinking fun at all. I will admit that I've tried it but it does not appeal to me. I have friends that drink and I do discourage it, but I can only do so much to stop them. My mom, I believe, trusts me enough to know that if I am somewhere that there may be alcohol, I am NOT consuming it. Alcoholism runs on my father's side of the family and therefore I avoid it as much as possible. Usually I don't bother going to the places where I know there will be alcohol.

[appsRtheway2go]

I am a teen, i drink.(not a lot) but the thing my mom and dad tell me is dont drink and drive!! they always know where i am and who i am with.

[FloraDanicaHR]

Maybe it's just the Okanagan, everyone drinks. From like 12+. Personally I don't. But there is a HUGE thing for bush parties here, lots of drugs (is weed legallized yet?). So much it's smoked at the school.

No one really cares anymore. At least the majority here. Harsh, but true.