[minilove]

My current situation. I work 32 hours at my farm to pay for my horses board, anything I work after that I make $8 an hour. So if I work 40 hours a month, I am paid for 8 hours of work. For over a year this has worked, but for the past few months everything seems to be wrong. I either dont work fast enough, make a mistake, etc. I'm just not a good worker. I feel so awful for my BO because she is amazing and I wouldnt have a job or a horse without her. I keep trying and trying, I've gotten faster, I've talked with the BO several times, but the more I do the more mistakes I make. She (the bo) knows I am working hard and trying and she isn't bad, but it isnt fair to her to pay me to work if my work isnt...up to standsards. I'm worried that all the stress at the barn between my poor work job, her heath problems, and the rise in prices its too much on the relationship. It isnt just with the BO, but there are many conflicts and well a lot of stress. I'm wondering if enough is enough and maybe its time to try a new job.

So I brought that idea up the BO. We talked about it, I will always be welcome at the barn, my horse is welcomed. She thinks the problem is my self-confidence. I have to options if I choose to get a new job. I can work of my board and have a second job, but that isn't going to end the stress. Or I can get another job or pay full board with a discount. I'm leaning towards option to.

However board just went up, I might be able to find another barn with better facilities for the same price. Should I find a new barn and a job?

Do I really want a new job? Another job, like at a bookstore or something, would mean I would have a real schedule with my hours, I would be out of the elements, etc. But at the farm I LIKE my job, I also have perks another job doesnt. I can take a day off with last minuet notice, etc

I could use some wisdom or just a hug. I've been debating this for several weeks and dont know what to do

EDIT: Just want to add I'm 17 and next year I leave for school...