There is a lot to update since my last entry. After I wrote that entry, he didn't talk to me for the entire weekend; he was very mad/upset, yadayada. We talked but it left me feeling uncertain. Went two days being "meh" then we talked a few days later.. and it came down to he actually ended things. Two hours later he called and wanted to work it out; take things slow.

I understand that. There is a lot going on with him; how he feels about himself (obviously guilt ridden...

This has to be the most depressing blogs I've written to date.

Sorry if I don't make any sense or I have horrendous typoes. I'm semi-drunk/buzzed..whatever.

I am not happy.

I actually love my job. It's retail, so what! I am enjoying climbing the corporate ladder. I DO have ambitions in life. I want to be a stay at home mom. Is it THAT hard to understand? Is it really THAT bad of a thing to want most in your life? I just want a family of my own. A family...

SO much has been going on lately! I guess.. since I last updated at least, lol.

Panda has been ridden a total of 4 times now. Each time she amazes me! Our 3rd ride we went on a short trail ride but it included walking up a steep hill. Poor thing is so out of shape! LOL We'll be going on more of those short rides and slowly building it up longer and tougher. She is one sturdy girl! Didn't trip once going up or down the rocky terrain *beams with pride*

Here is the video.....

I seperated the girls today. Panda threw a FIT! I closed the gate to her pen so she wouldn't try to escape when I took Gert away and she kept calling, which is to be expected. I took Gert to my BO's and put her in the smaller paddock. Then I walked back to where Panda is, let her out of her pen and she ran all over, calling for Gert. When I got there, she was already lathered in sweat, poor thing.

I kept them seperated for about two hours or so and I rode Molly.

Molly...

The brat has hit her terrible two's and that is for sure!

I decided to give Birthday girl a bath. She was long over-due for one. I even brought out my new hose sprayer thingie that is AWESOME. She didn't think so at all. As a matter of fact, she threw a FIT. Biggest fit I've ever seen her throw! Pacing back and forth, making mud and getting her socks even dirtier. Started rearing and even tried to KICK me Which she has not tried in quite some time.

Then when I...