I think Im heading into a breakdown, everything is so overwhelming.
I wanna quit my job, quit my family, quit all the animals.

Its too much, I cant do this anymore.

Ive lost my confidence with my job, and with everything else.

Im hoping this is just my depression cycling or a im entering anohter psychosis episode.

My mind is racing, it feels like im shaking inside.... I want to think clearly, to sleep normally, to smile and mean it....

I think Im in a full blown SLE-DM flare up.
It came on so fast, in a matter of days.
Like before I did it to myself, overwork, undersleep and too much stress.

Who knew having to manage two stores with stupid staff, and not getting any sleep and then having to worry about my brothers major neck surgery could create some issues....

I finally have a half day off tomorrow, and need to go get blood work.
I feel like my world is crashing down. Ive worked...

Today I had my first riding lesson is almsot 5 years.

I rode Mirak, my moms 20 something AngloArab.

It was my first lesson of what I hope is many lessons with this coach.

One of our boarders took some pics. Which Ill post at the bottom.

I have TONS of *homework* for next week.

For next week I am supposed to work on asking Mirak to give... at the halt, at the walk and at the trot, even while doing doing downward transitions....

I realized a few things today...

#1: Laredo is VERY VERY fat, I almost needed to find a bigger girth.

#2: Laredo remembers what he has been taught in the past.

#3: I am terrified that in a few days I will be riding around on my little baby boy.

#4: I am very emotional about the prospect of riding Laredo. It makes me cry.


Laredo was a super star... He did everything I asked him to.
I hope by this weekend to be on...

Sport Horse Show is in 11 days... and in those 11 days I have to have 3 horses ready for their classes.
Mya will be going in a whole bunch of In-Hand classes, including 3 Trophy Classes and a Futurity. Fingers Crossed we can win some money!!
She will also be going in Get of Sire

Laredo will be going in two In-Hand classes and 3 Undersaddle classes... there is a little hitch.....
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HE ISNT BROKE...