Lynn

Anarithil · 10-29-2004, 08:08 AM

Ok, I'm sorry that this is gonna turn out to be REALLY long, but I need to rant and rave for a while, and here, if I do so, maybe I'll end up with some useful advice...
So here I go.

There's this girl, 'Lynn', who boards at the same stables I do. She's a grade above me (she's a Sophmore, I'm a Freshman), but we go to the same school, and I'm in some Sophmore classes, and with her in one. In addition, we sit at the same table at lunch.
Now when I moved my horse to the stables I'm currently at, I had recently lost my best friend to her personality disorder, and since she was probably the most influential in our little circle of friends, turned them all against me, too, so that although I had some other friends throughout the school, none of them were into horses as we both had been. When I moved to this stables, though, I met this new girl who I soon became friends with and very close to, as we both seemd alike in an eerily high number of ways. We rode horses together, me on my mare, her on one of the barn owner's, as her horse is this crazy (and I hate to say that about a horse, but in some cases it's true... some horses are just kinda wacked, like some people...) Paso mare who would as soon kill you as look at you.
Now I've known this girl since last November (so almost a year, now) and though we really were good friends at the start, the more time passed, the more her quirks became apparent. She was a good rider seat-wise, and was rather knowledgeable about horses, and yet was overall a bad rider because she became flustered any time a horse would act up and would get off and give up. She plays mind games with her mare, infuriating and upsetting her instead of soothing her, and has, in an overall sense, worsened the disposition of this horse. She also exaggerates in such an extreme way some of her exaggerations could almost be deemed lies, they're so far from the truth. When she tells the truth, she does not tell the WHOLE truth, and her stories always differ for each person she tells them to. She seems to enjoy making things difficult, volunteering to help with chores when you have all but finished, but when you begin, simply stands there and watches you, expressing no desire to assist, and when asked if she wants to accompany you on a ride or excursion somewhere stalls to reply 'til the last possible second, replying with an 'I don't know' for the longest time, 'til she replies that she'd rather not, although you know that she knew that from the start. Her thinking seems irrational, talking about wanting to buy a donkey or starting up a Horse Rescue stables, when you know that she could never afford it, and the day before was talking about selling her horse due to financial problems. And she's got this total 'behind your back' way of doing things, and will never tell you about them unless confronted.
Since these problems began surfacing, they've always been an annoyance, but nothing more. However, now seeing the full extent they've begun to reach, my mom and I are getting concerned. We recently rented out the stables we board at for the reasons that: 1- We need the money. 2- The owner was threatening to evict all boarders because he took on more horses because he had the time before, but now his dog training business is flourishing, and he no longer has the time. Lynn was originally mad at us because of this, she claims she does not like change, which is understandable, and although she is not angry anymore, is still causing problems. She believes that one of the barn owner's horses is becoming skinnier than when he arrived, a completely untrue fact, and so feeds him six flakes of hay a night instead of his usual three whenever she works there because we are unable to. She also used a whole bag of bedding (which is enough to bed all the stalls in our stables) to bed her horse's stall because she decided she wanted to spend the night there, and put her horse in another stall entirely for the night. We know with her temper problems, if she's ever out there (and she is a lot) and gets mad at us for some obscure reason, could simply remove the hay or grain or water from our horses' stalls. She has brought in my horse once before and locked her in her stall without the lights on or water because she was looking ill (this was shortly after she came home after choking), even though our orders were to ALWAYS make sure she had enough water, because she became easily dehydrated at that point. And now, the worse thing is, we know (although she never admitted it) how my horse choked on those apples.
Lynn was the one who found my horse the day she choked. She said that Arwen (my horse) must have gotten the apples when they fell off the row of apples trees along the far fenceline. However, we watched for weeks afterwards, and not one single apple fell from the trees. (And there had been no sudden windstorms the day before the choked.) Lynn had formerly collected a huge binful of apples and had stored them in the refridgerator, and we knew she had been saving them for the horses. Although I am certain it was purely accidental, she never admitted to doing causing my horse to choke, which is painful, I am her best (or one of her two best) friend/s.
Lynn has a habit of feeding the horses human food. Although I have never seen her do it to Arwen or my mom's mare, the other day I saw her standing right next to my horse with a full soda can, and then, only a few minutes later, giving soda to some of the other horses. It's hard for me to not assume she gives food without my permission to my horse as well, judging by her past record with the apples.
She has also been hinting a lot about riding Arwen and my mom's horse. I have never let Lynn ride Arwen, and never plan to, after seeing how bad a rider she is and how she constantly lets the horse win and makes it harder to deal with in the long run. I don't completely trust her methods, either. My mom used to let Lynn ride her horse, Tailer, because Tailer is green, and more than anything else requires 'mileage'. However, my mom recently stopped that, and made an oath to never let Lynn rider Tailer again. However, just last Wednesday, Lynn hinted about how she had ridden every horse in the stables except Arwen, and yesterday said to my mom, 'I've been having really good luck with the horses today. I rode two horses, one of them mine, and they were both really good,' and as I was saddling up Arwen and my mom was feeding, said, 'I'd ride now, but I have no one to ride,' hinting that my mom should let her ride Tailer, as my mom wasn't planning on riding that night.
*sigh*
All of these things keep building up, and it's getting really upsetting seeing her waste OUR money by using extra bedding or feed that she is not going to pay for, but most of all, because of the potential dangers of her to our horses. I've had enough trouble keeping Arwen healthy since I've bought her, with her numerous health issues, and I'm not about to let something else happen to her, though with Lynn around, it's hard to say something else might not happen to her, or Tailer. I'm just waiting to hear about Lynn riding Arwen when I'm not around, without my permission...

Well, ok, I'm done (for now). I'm sorry that was SOOOO long, but it's all been building up for so long and I needed to get it out before I burst. Anywho, any suggestions on what to do??? It's getting so bad, my mom is considering lookign for another place to board our two horses... I love our stables and don't want to have to leave, nor do I want anything to happen to our mares. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

Thanks in advance,

-||Anarithil||-

P&Tango18 · 10-29-2004, 08:35 AM

Believe it or not I have had the same exact experience earlier this year. I had just recently bought my horse, Tango, and had moved stables because of a trainer issue. Well the cool part was alot of my friends moved with me and it made the change very easy. But the bad part was I am a sophmore and they too freshman. Many of the new girls at the barn were younger and not very experienced riders who for some strange reason wanted to ride my horse all the time because his previous owner had let him be used in lessons in order to cut down the rent fee. But unlike you I just moved I was not about to let Tango get hurt because soo little brat thought she could ride him anytime because he was her favorite horse or something like that. But if you really love the place I would confront her about the situtation. From the way you talk about her Im guessing that the apple thing was probably and accident and now she is too afraid to come clean. The whole lieing snowball affect I guess. But see if any of the other boarders have had problems with her and maybe you can get her evicted if her causes any more problems. Good Luck with it all!

Shotgun93 · 10-29-2004, 08:51 AM

I have to agree with Tango. You need to do something about her before something happens to your horse, or someone else's. You should either confront her, and/or talk to the other boarders about the situation, then you should go to the owner/manager and let him know what's going on. Maybe you should invest in some cameras to put up in the barn, with the cameras around, she might be a little less inclined to do whatever she feels like doing.

Anarithil · 10-29-2004, 09:00 AM

Ok, thanks for the suggestions, you guys. I'll probably talk with her or some of the other boarders, or the owner, and see about checking into other stables. I like the video camera suggestion, but unfortunately, we already considered that and really can't afford it. *sigh*

In the meantime, should I sever ties with her as much as possible??? I see her at school everyday, but I could stop hanging out with her at lunch as much or talking to her in class. I know I can't avoid her too well at the stables, but I'm currently doing my best to spend as little time with her as I can. Should I keep this up, or try giving her yet another chance???

-||Anarithil||-

Shotgun93 · 10-29-2004, 09:06 AM

I would be leary of making her upset. I don't know her, but from the way you describe her, it seems that she might have the personality to do something vindictive, like to your horses. First talk to the other boarders and the owner and see what they suggest, then confront her about her behavior. If you have back-up, she might be too scared to do anything bad. And look around for other barns, see if you can find something better.
A note on the cameras - most hunting-type suppliers will be having sales on the still-frame, movement and night cameras soon b/c hunting season will be over soon. They also make cheap fake cameras, ones that look like they are real, but really don't do anything. A lot of stores use them to fool would-be theives.

P&Tango18 · 10-29-2004, 09:11 AM

Well to be honest with you I would hate to spend time with a person like that but then again you catch my flies with honey than with vinager. If it were me I wouldnt completely ignore her but attempt to stay away from her. If she wants to talk let her but I wouldnt go out of my way to be nice. Keep cool and I still highly suggest talk to the other boarders and manager. Good Luck!!

Anarithil · 10-29-2004, 09:15 AM

Ok, that 'not-upsetting-her-but-trying-to-avoid-her' sounds like a good idea. And I'll talk to my mom about checking out those cameras. (She's the one who handles all the financial stuff, not me...) Thanks again!

-||Anarithil||-

P&Tango18 · 10-29-2004, 09:19 AM

LoL same here! Makes life alot easier! Mom knows all!

10-29-2004, 08:08 AM	#1
Anarithil Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 309 Images: 3	Lynn Ok, I'm sorry that this is gonna turn out to be REALLY long, but I need to rant and rave for a while, and here, if I do so, maybe I'll end up with some useful advice... So here I go. There's this girl, 'Lynn', who boards at the same stables I do. She's a grade above me (she's a Sophmore, I'm a Freshman), but we go to the same school, and I'm in some Sophmore classes, and with her in one. In addition, we sit at the same table at lunch. Now when I moved my horse to the stables I'm currently at, I had recently lost my best friend to her personality disorder, and since she was probably the most influential in our little circle of friends, turned them all against me, too, so that although I had some other friends throughout the school, none of them were into horses as we both had been. When I moved to this stables, though, I met this new girl who I soon became friends with and very close to, as we both seemd alike in an eerily high number of ways. We rode horses together, me on my mare, her on one of the barn owner's, as her horse is this crazy (and I hate to say that about a horse, but in some cases it's true... some horses are just kinda wacked, like some people...) Paso mare who would as soon kill you as look at you. Now I've known this girl since last November (so almost a year, now) and though we really were good friends at the start, the more time passed, the more her quirks became apparent. She was a good rider seat-wise, and was rather knowledgeable about horses, and yet was overall a bad rider because she became flustered any time a horse would act up and would get off and give up. She plays mind games with her mare, infuriating and upsetting her instead of soothing her, and has, in an overall sense, worsened the disposition of this horse. She also exaggerates in such an extreme way some of her exaggerations could almost be deemed lies, they're so far from the truth. When she tells the truth, she does not tell the WHOLE truth, and her stories always differ for each person she tells them to. She seems to enjoy making things difficult, volunteering to help with chores when you have all but finished, but when you begin, simply stands there and watches you, expressing no desire to assist, and when asked if she wants to accompany you on a ride or excursion somewhere stalls to reply 'til the last possible second, replying with an 'I don't know' for the longest time, 'til she replies that she'd rather not, although you know that she knew that from the start. Her thinking seems irrational, talking about wanting to buy a donkey or starting up a Horse Rescue stables, when you know that she could never afford it, and the day before was talking about selling her horse due to financial problems. And she's got this total 'behind your back' way of doing things, and will never tell you about them unless confronted. Since these problems began surfacing, they've always been an annoyance, but nothing more. However, now seeing the full extent they've begun to reach, my mom and I are getting concerned. We recently rented out the stables we board at for the reasons that: 1- We need the money. 2- The owner was threatening to evict all boarders because he took on more horses because he had the time before, but now his dog training business is flourishing, and he no longer has the time. Lynn was originally mad at us because of this, she claims she does not like change, which is understandable, and although she is not angry anymore, is still causing problems. She believes that one of the barn owner's horses is becoming skinnier than when he arrived, a completely untrue fact, and so feeds him six flakes of hay a night instead of his usual three whenever she works there because we are unable to. She also used a whole bag of bedding (which is enough to bed all the stalls in our stables) to bed her horse's stall because she decided she wanted to spend the night there, and put her horse in another stall entirely for the night. We know with her temper problems, if she's ever out there (and she is a lot) and gets mad at us for some obscure reason, could simply remove the hay or grain or water from our horses' stalls. She has brought in my horse once before and locked her in her stall without the lights on or water because she was looking ill (this was shortly after she came home after choking), even though our orders were to ALWAYS make sure she had enough water, because she became easily dehydrated at that point. And now, the worse thing is, we know (although she never admitted it) how my horse choked on those apples. Lynn was the one who found my horse the day she choked. She said that Arwen (my horse) must have gotten the apples when they fell off the row of apples trees along the far fenceline. However, we watched for weeks afterwards, and not one single apple fell from the trees. (And there had been no sudden windstorms the day before the choked.) Lynn had formerly collected a huge binful of apples and had stored them in the refridgerator, and we knew she had been saving them for the horses. Although I am certain it was purely accidental, she never admitted to doing causing my horse to choke, which is painful, I am her best (or one of her two best) friend/s. Lynn has a habit of feeding the horses human food. Although I have never seen her do it to Arwen or my mom's mare, the other day I saw her standing right next to my horse with a full soda can, and then, only a few minutes later, giving soda to some of the other horses. It's hard for me to not assume she gives food without my permission to my horse as well, judging by her past record with the apples. She has also been hinting a lot about riding Arwen and my mom's horse. I have never let Lynn ride Arwen, and never plan to, after seeing how bad a rider she is and how she constantly lets the horse win and makes it harder to deal with in the long run. I don't completely trust her methods, either. My mom used to let Lynn ride her horse, Tailer, because Tailer is green, and more than anything else requires 'mileage'. However, my mom recently stopped that, and made an oath to never let Lynn rider Tailer again. However, just last Wednesday, Lynn hinted about how she had ridden every horse in the stables except Arwen, and yesterday said to my mom, 'I've been having really good luck with the horses today. I rode two horses, one of them mine, and they were both really good,' and as I was saddling up Arwen and my mom was feeding, said, 'I'd ride now, but I have no one to ride,' hinting that my mom should let her ride Tailer, as my mom wasn't planning on riding that night. sigh All of these things keep building up, and it's getting really upsetting seeing her waste OUR money by using extra bedding or feed that she is not going to pay for, but most of all, because of the potential dangers of her to our horses. I've had enough trouble keeping Arwen healthy since I've bought her, with her numerous health issues, and I'm not about to let something else happen to her, though with Lynn around, it's hard to say something else might not happen to her, or Tailer. I'm just waiting to hear about Lynn riding Arwen when I'm not around, without my permission... Well, ok, I'm done (for now). I'm sorry that was SOOOO long, but it's all been building up for so long and I needed to get it out before I burst. Anywho, any suggestions on what to do??? It's getting so bad, my mom is considering lookign for another place to board our two horses... I love our stables and don't want to have to leave, nor do I want anything to happen to our mares. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?! Thanks in advance, -\|\|Anarithil\|\|-

10-29-2004, 08:51 AM	#3
Shotgun93 Senior Moderator Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Southwest SD Posts: 13,008 Images: 122	I have to agree with Tango. You need to do something about her before something happens to your horse, or someone else's. You should either confront her, and/or talk to the other boarders about the situation, then you should go to the owner/manager and let him know what's going on. Maybe you should invest in some cameras to put up in the barn, with the cameras around, she might be a little less inclined to do whatever she feels like doing. __________________ In the quiet light of the stable, you hear a muffled snort, the stamp of a hoof, a friendly nicker. Gentle eyes inquire, "How was your day old friend?" and suddenly, all your troubles fade away. -Author Unknown

10-29-2004, 09:06 AM	#5
Shotgun93 Senior Moderator Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Southwest SD Posts: 13,008 Images: 122	I would be leary of making her upset. I don't know her, but from the way you describe her, it seems that she might have the personality to do something vindictive, like to your horses. First talk to the other boarders and the owner and see what they suggest, then confront her about her behavior. If you have back-up, she might be too scared to do anything bad. And look around for other barns, see if you can find something better. A note on the cameras - most hunting-type suppliers will be having sales on the still-frame, movement and night cameras soon b/c hunting season will be over soon. They also make cheap fake cameras, ones that look like they are real, but really don't do anything. A lot of stores use them to fool would-be theives. __________________ In the quiet light of the stable, you hear a muffled snort, the stamp of a hoof, a friendly nicker. Gentle eyes inquire, "How was your day old friend?" and suddenly, all your troubles fade away. -Author Unknown

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10-29-2004, 08:35 AM	#2
P&Tango18 Full Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 86	Believe it or not I have had the same exact experience earlier this year. I had just recently bought my horse, Tango, and had moved stables because of a trainer issue. Well the cool part was alot of my friends moved with me and it made the change very easy. But the bad part was I am a sophmore and they too freshman. Many of the new girls at the barn were younger and not very experienced riders who for some strange reason wanted to ride my horse all the time because his previous owner had let him be used in lessons in order to cut down the rent fee. But unlike you I just moved I was not about to let Tango get hurt because soo little brat thought she could ride him anytime because he was her favorite horse or something like that. But if you really love the place I would confront her about the situtation. From the way you talk about her Im guessing that the apple thing was probably and accident and now she is too afraid to come clean. The whole lieing snowball affect I guess. But see if any of the other boarders have had problems with her and maybe you can get her evicted if her causes any more problems. Good Luck with it all!

10-29-2004, 09:00 AM	#4
Anarithil Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 309 Images: 3	Ok, thanks for the suggestions, you guys. I'll probably talk with her or some of the other boarders, or the owner, and see about checking into other stables. I like the video camera suggestion, but unfortunately, we already considered that and really can't afford it. sigh In the meantime, should I sever ties with her as much as possible??? I see her at school everyday, but I could stop hanging out with her at lunch as much or talking to her in class. I know I can't avoid her too well at the stables, but I'm currently doing my best to spend as little time with her as I can. Should I keep this up, or try giving her yet another chance??? -\|\|Anarithil\|\|-

10-29-2004, 09:11 AM	#6
P&Tango18 Full Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 86	Well to be honest with you I would hate to spend time with a person like that but then again you catch my flies with honey than with vinager. If it were me I wouldnt completely ignore her but attempt to stay away from her. If she wants to talk let her but I wouldnt go out of my way to be nice. Keep cool and I still highly suggest talk to the other boarders and manager. Good Luck!!

10-29-2004, 09:15 AM	#7
Anarithil Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 309 Images: 3	Ok, that 'not-upsetting-her-but-trying-to-avoid-her' sounds like a good idea. And I'll talk to my mom about checking out those cameras. (She's the one who handles all the financial stuff, not me...) Thanks again! -\|\|Anarithil\|\|-

10-29-2004, 09:19 AM	#8
P&Tango18 Full Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 86	LoL same here! Makes life alot easier! Mom knows all!