Why can't it be black and white?

I can't make up my mind whether to stay at school or go home and take online classes. I am leaning towards staying at school, but I miss my horses so much... all I do is live on HGS, Dreamhorse, or some other horse site when I should be studying. Of course, if I go home, that doesn't mean I will study any more. I just wish I could have the best of both worlds. I turned down a ticket to NFR this week because I have two tests. That's okay, because NFR will always be there (plus, I'll be 21 next year ), but Mafia and Mercy are just sitting at home, rotting away. I don't want anyone else to work with Mafia, because she is a really special horse and aside from the initial breaking, I want to do most of her training.
*sigh* Why can't it be black and white- I just want someone to tell me what to do and make it count. I keep getting different answers from everyone. I know it is my decision and my final decision is to stay here (there, I said it, first time aloud) but I know that's not what I really want....

• I have applesauce WHERE?! by Miz Khiz
• Here I Go... by Miz Khiz