Yeah the title says it all! I like someone, the wrong someone! The someone who's going out with my bestie Yeah I like him before they were going out, but the more we talk the more I have to hold myself back! ugh

Ugh I'm also having the before show panics!!! and It's 2 months away I feel like i won't be near ready. Or maybe that I should do performance just barrel racing! UGH I wanna do both but It's just not gonna work that way for a little bit, and I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I could get lessons ever week or everyother week I think I would be okay but I can't do it, nor can I ask leslie to do that for me! Let alone my parents wont allow me to get them that often!
I feel like crying, I just don't know what to do!! Everything I used to enjoy and have fun with is not stressing me out! Horses and Friends!!!!!

I'm getting those thoughts aout just quiting horses altogether like I did about 4 years ago!!! But I don't want to quit them, I couldn't do it! I couldn't just abandon Indy like that! I want my own horse so I can have more freedom in what I do with them, I mean Yeah I have it good with the situation with indy, but I'm limited! I can only go ride once a week, and in the summer I will be so busy with everything, like a job I'm forced to get that I doubt I will have anytime with him! Which in turn will make me go crazy!!

UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I hate being a teenager it sucks! I want to be past it now and be done with it!