Ugh...not again
Posted 02-23-2009 at 07:01 AM by sorrell
For the last year, we have known that the business was not doing well, but we attributed it to the slow economy and a boss who was not really into running the place anymore. So, when the announcement was made that the place had been sold and that the new owners would not be taking any of the old crew on, but were bringing in their own group...well, it was not unexpected, nor was the lack of sleep, the upset stomach, anxiety attacks, fears of losing the house, the horses, etc.
I am an unconventional person. I do not dress for success, I dress for comfort and practicality.
I have always been poor by American standards. If it were not for my parents who provided me a home, albiet and old and drafty home with leaking roof and unfirm foundation, I would be homeless.
I do not worship money, but I enjoy having it to share with others. I like to know that I will pay my bills on time, can afford to take friends and family out to eat on occasion, can afford to put gas in the car and not be afraid to turn on the heat or take a long shower for fear it will mean no food for dinner.
Having faith in God is somehow easier when you have nothing though. When you have money and means, you tend to put your faith in your own ability to survive. When you have nothing, you can only turn to God and hope for mercy and existence without too much pain and torment.
I will miss being able to buy almonds and cherries, but I can survive on grapes and sunflower seeds, and be grateful I can afford that.
It is embarrassing to tell your friends you cannot meat them for lunch because you have no money for gas and no money for food, but you know you are still better off than some and should be thankful.
Still, it is hard and it makes me want to cry. There is so much more I want to do in life and I feel like the lack of money prevents me from doing any of those things and it seems unfair somehow.
Still, I will go on. I will make the best of what I have been given and I may one day discover that all of this was not nearly as bad as I imagined it to be. Maybe...
I am an unconventional person. I do not dress for success, I dress for comfort and practicality.
I have always been poor by American standards. If it were not for my parents who provided me a home, albiet and old and drafty home with leaking roof and unfirm foundation, I would be homeless.
I do not worship money, but I enjoy having it to share with others. I like to know that I will pay my bills on time, can afford to take friends and family out to eat on occasion, can afford to put gas in the car and not be afraid to turn on the heat or take a long shower for fear it will mean no food for dinner.
Having faith in God is somehow easier when you have nothing though. When you have money and means, you tend to put your faith in your own ability to survive. When you have nothing, you can only turn to God and hope for mercy and existence without too much pain and torment.
I will miss being able to buy almonds and cherries, but I can survive on grapes and sunflower seeds, and be grateful I can afford that.
It is embarrassing to tell your friends you cannot meat them for lunch because you have no money for gas and no money for food, but you know you are still better off than some and should be thankful.
Still, it is hard and it makes me want to cry. There is so much more I want to do in life and I feel like the lack of money prevents me from doing any of those things and it seems unfair somehow.
Still, I will go on. I will make the best of what I have been given and I may one day discover that all of this was not nearly as bad as I imagined it to be. Maybe...
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Comments
 |  On the radio station I listen to they've been playing a short blurb of some pastor talking, and he's talking about how all these struggles, all these trials we face, we only have to face for a little while, just a little while when compared to the prospect of spending eternity in heaven. 20 years of hardship may seem like a long time, but it's just a short little while compared to eternity! Times are tough, I know how you feel, but the one thing that's really been keeping me going strong and keeping a smile on my face is remembering that "this too, shall pass"  |
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Recent Blog Entries by sorrell
- Ugh...not again (02-23-2009)
- part 5 (11-20-2008)
- part 4 (11-20-2008)
- smoking part 3 (11-20-2008)
- Outdoor Smoking ban part 2 (11-20-2008)
