i was acctually excited 4 a snow day
I usually hate them but not today, and I wrote a short story and I need yall to critque it!!


There he was, that huge red horse, standing alone in his pasture while Maria stood outside the fence, just watching him as he moved slowly around the paddock. He was her first horse and he was perfect. His name was Baron, and he was an Arabian gelding. But she was scared, he was huge over 16 hands, and she only had a little experience, how did her parents think she could handle all that horse? She stood there with the black leather halter and lead in hand, ready to go and catch him, and get him tacked up for their first lesson. She ducked through the wooden slats of the board fence and walked slowly towards the gelding. He noticed her immediately and walked her way; once he reached her he lowered his head. Maria was startled, was this seriously the horse she saw a minute ago standing proudly in the middle of the paddock. She slowly slid the halter over his head like she had been taught, and buckled it so it fit his head just right. Then she slowly walked him to the hitching post to groom him out. She started talking to him, telling him what a good boy he was. As she brushed him, she got calmer and realized there was nothing to be afraid of. She grabbed her brown western saddle and pad and lifted them onto his back. Then she fastened the cinch and then grabbed her bridle. She asked for him to lower his head and he did so obediently, and she easily slipped the bit into his mouth and the headstall over his ears and fastened them accordingly. She then led him to the arena where Maria’s trainer was waiting with a smile that showed the pure pride she felt seeing Maria walking Baron with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. She knew they were a match made in heaven.
“He looks great, Maria, you did a good job, his saddle looks tight and his bridle looks comphy.” Her trainer, Judy, said with great joy.
“Thanks, Judy, I really like him, do you think he likes me?” Maria asked with a bit of a waver in her voice.
Even though she was comfortable with Baron on the ground, she was so nervous about riding him today.
“I know he likes you, I can see it in his eyes.” Judy said, “So mount up, dear, times a wasting”

So she walked up to him, and stepped up onto the mounting block and put her foot in the stirrup, then in the blink of an eye before she lost her nerve she swung into the saddle and landed softly in the seat.
“Good job, now take him around the ring at a walk, I want to see how you can do with him, but I know what you’ll do.”
“What will I do? Do you think I’ll mess up?” Maria asked worried.
“No, you’ll be great, and you’ll be wanting to canter around this arena today, and I’ll say know, you know the rules, no cantering until the third day you ride a horse, or if it takes longer for you to be ready, now get on and walk around the ring! You heard me, shew!” Judy giggled.
Maria squeezed her legs, and Baron took off easily at an easy pace and around the dirt arena. He was perfect! He just walked around there like a perfect gentleman. Maria wondered why she was ever scared of Baron, he is PERFECT!! After the lesson she spent a half and hour just grooming him and talking to him. She couldn’t wait for her next lesson!

-Mariah Barlow_


its for young rider so it has to be kinda um sappy, I think i need a better title,and tell me if you can think of better, but not over used names!!


thanks Mariah -oh, Im feeling hot, like I ALWAYS am, hehe