1. If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling,
your truck will break down.

2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.

3. No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.

4. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the
number of people who are watching.

5. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be
destroyed; horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.

6. Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half
finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.

7. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you
did. If you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.

8. One horse isn't enough; two is too many.

9. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street
clothes," you will get dirty.

10. You can't push a horse on a lunge line.

11. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he isn't
$2,500.

12. The number of horses you own increases according to the
number of stalls in your barn.

13. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.

14. You can't run a barn without baling twine.

15. Hoof picks migrate.

16. Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your
hat fits.

17. There is no such thing as the "right feed."

18. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most
recent injury.

19. The least useful horse in your barn eats to most, requires
corrective shoeing every three weeks and requires the servces of the vet a minimum of once a month.

20. The horse you really want you can't afford. The horse you
can afford isn't for sale.

21. Bailing twine multiplies in the dark.

22. No one really learns how to swear until they learn how to
ride.

23. Ninety-eight percent of all horse folk consider themselves
above average riders.

24. Balance is not hereditary.

25. Dressage tests always seem to be ridden next to a hanglider
competition.

26. If there are two paths to choose, you will always choose the
wrong one.

27. The effort to keep from falling over a fence always hurts
more than falling off.

28. You always think to call the farrier when you're nowhere
near a phone.

29. When you want to prove a certain a horse is a complete pig,
it will perform flawlessly--and vice versa.