The Thoughts of a Teenage Girl

Sometimes I wonder if I even have a brain.
I am so incredibly stupid.
So I went away with some friends for the long weekend.
Just the three of us girls at a condo hours away from home.
I definetly cannot say I am proud of what I did.
I do not know what to do, I feel so, so, so I don't even know the word.
I want to crawl into a hole and die, or just sleep for the rest of my life.
I want someone to listen to me vent then tell me what to do.

Even though

I just read through my whole entire hgs journal.

Wow.

I cannot believe how many things have happened in the last year.

It felt like I read my whole life story.

Although they weren't very discriptive I could remember everything I was thinking when I wrote them.

Does that ever bring back memories.

Not all good one's but not all bad ones either.

I don't even know what to say but wow has it every brought a flood of memories.

On another note for

I am so bored right now, I could fall over.

I was actually thinking about falling out of my chair to see if it would hurt

or not, sad yes I know.

Well the snow is starting to melt, that is disapointing, I thought it looked

so pretty, o well every good thing must come to an end.

My life has sort of turn a complete 180 latley.

It's weird because I coudln't explain how or why, I just feel so

different.

I hate it when I want to say things and I just can't

Well I thought I should update everyone on whats new in my life.

First of all I sold my horse.

Yes I can't believe I did it but its not so bad because it was my neighbour who bought

him and I am still allowed to ride him any time I want.

So its like I got the money but never lost the horse.

I have gloves on right now because my hands are cold, so its quite hard to type.

College has been going pretty well, I dropped out of one course though because

I realized

Well its been a week.

A week since me and my boyfriend broke up.

It has been alot harder than I thought it was.

I broke down too many times.

I'm dealing with it better now but I my mind still is consistently dwelling

upon the past. I still can't shut him out.

At least now I don't feel like I have to bawl.

We still hang out in the same group and at first that was hard.

I saw him being his good 'ol happy self and it hurt thinking that the break