i think today's been the first day i've actually been sad in a while..

i am always happy, even if i am at a funeral home, i am always happy.

but lately i just feel out of place, like i havent made a difference in the world yet. it makes me very upset. today i learned about something that made me cry (inside).. i am a peer mentor for some physically and mentally challenged girls and boys. and today i learned that one of the "server" ones history.. and it made literally break down inside. its private and peers arent suppose to know, but she told me. the girl at the age 18 looked just like us. walked, talked, and was an amazing swimmer, but an accident put her in a wheel chair. server brain damage. and the thing that makes me sad is she knows whats wrong.. she knows and understands what its like to be "normal" and she cries (well at least of what we can understand it to be) and it makes me just feel so upset inside. to know that you once were able to walk, and talk to your parents then suddenly wake up from something and not. its horrible..

and today my best friend was yelling at me and telling me how she hates her life... and i went off on her. i can't stand when people say that anymore.

i need to stop rambling on...