On Tuesday I took Ash in for her X-Rays on her right front knee. The Results were bad. She has arthiritis formaing on her joint and if I jumped her she would most likely need to be put down in a year. Shes only 7. It makes me so sad.

I knew better then to buy an unsound horse for jumping. I even told myself not to buy her. It's hard to regret my decision. So i don't and won't. For me it really was love at first sight. She was tall, gorgeous dapple grey roan, spunky yet level headed, and the smoothest horse I had ever ridden in my life.EVER! But hey, evreything happens for a reason, right?
Im going to take my Mothers horse Chester in pony club. He's no where near a hunter jumper, but I can learn on him. And Ash I'm going to start learning some dressage before I breed her next Spring. She would make a beautiful foal.

My only concern is that I will have to pick horses or modeling once and for all. Lots of people say im getting Way ahead of myself. But really this is a life changing decision. Should I hold off breeding my two mares for a year and model so I can make money for college and then train the foals in the summer. I am SO lost and I only have modeling for like 5 more years and then I'll be too old. But I only want modeling so that I can have LOTS of money to start my horse career.
I feel doomed. I guess i'll have to wait and see. Yet im crushed and sadened by this all. Everything I EVER wanted. LOST in 3 minutes. Yet I guess im exaggerating. She could have been worse and needed to be put down. I feel terrible her life is shortened by the careless thoughts of the horse industry racing 2y/o's. Shes so amazing and now that Misty's gone I would serously be lost without her. Shes the one thing I have left that keeps me holding on.