Well, here it is!
Just posted to to my school blog to be graded, kind of scary!

(Can you guess which ones are about Cat? I tried harnessing those emotions into something good)

I Need Help
Please,
Help me realize
That I am okay.
That I can stand on my own two feet
Without your assistance.
I’m so scared
To admit
I can do this
Alone
Without you.
I’m so scared
To admit
How much I miss you
Now
That I’m alone
Without you.
I’m so scared
To admit
That I think I can move on…
Even though you’re not with me
Everyday
Like you used to be.
I’m not scared
To admit
That I loved you.
That I still love you.
That I will always love you.
I promise.

Child’s Games
We were children
We were friends.
You left me alone
Confused
You came back and jerked me around,
Like a marionette doll
Clumsy
Alone
Unstable without her puppeteer.
I feel myself sinking further
Away from you and the ultimate dream
To be with you
You played hide and seek with me.
You tried to hide from me
From my heart.
And I can’t stop searching
I hear you counting to 100
Then laughing
Seeing that I can never find you anymore.

Dreaming
Western pleasure
Controversial
Misunderstood
Perfection
The level topline
The carefully thought out placement
Of hooves
In the footing
Of our sandbox.
The range of colors of blouses
Surround me, as my heart does flip flops
While I enter.
Head up,
Shoulders back,
Relax as we flow as one.
The jog, a smooth pitter patter
One Two
One Two
The lope, a dream
One Two Three
One Two Three
Rocking with the flow,
Melting into one
Slowly moving down the fence
The rounded collection of it all
One Two Three
One Two Three
The silver dancing with the sun’s rays
The black suede chaps,
Molded into the seat of my Phil Harris
The spurs,
With their cues definite
And precise
Like this class
Of western pleasure.

Innocent Enough
Pure and beautiful
They fall, silently, shyly
Into a puddle
In my hand. The perfection
Of it all scares me.

Hypocritical
Leaping head first
No fear of falling
No feel of leaving
This place
Of horrors
And hatred
And deceipt.
I left,
Trying to start anew.
When I realized
I was what I was running from.

Happy Birthday
I don’t know
How to get over
Your death.
I hate showing my feelings
My vulnerability.
I wish you were still here
Even though I know that’s not possible.
I wish you were here to help me
As you used to do.
I can’t get over
This pit
This open, ugly
Hole
In my heart.
It’s not your fault
That I loved you.
And I still do.
I want you to know
That I miss you
And I think about you,
Even today.
Happy Birthday, baby.
I’ll never forget
To remember me
And you
Together.

Untitled
Fear is a blade,
Slicing through security and confidence.
It's sharp edge wills away hope and comfort,
and replaces them with the unknown.
I'm scared of living.
Fear is falling,
Down, down, down,
Helpless to stop,
Seeing the ground come
Closer, closer, closer.
Arms outstretched,
Willing to break my fall
Only to catch nothing
But a fear of being helpless.
I'm scared of you.
Fear is water
Cold and murky
A mystery underneath the glassy surface
Not knowing what lies beneath.
It freezes my scared body to the core.
Sharp pains, needles
Dropping further,
Further, further
into oblivion.
I'm scared of myself.