Being in charge/management/willing to help others/or on "top of the world" is a lonely position.
Top equine clinicians are lonely. You wouldn't think that could be with all their fame. I hear people (especially out of ignorance--meaning uniformed or uneducated, but capable of learning) cut those trainers down, ridicule their methods--even those people trying to help each other out with suggestions on this forum. They bicker about each other's methods. But it's only out of ignorance of each others way of what works in their own personal training. It doesn't mean that one trainer's methods are better than another's in its entirety. There is no perfect answer to horse training, or which equipment is best to use in aiding training. Arguing about it is no better than a dog chasing its tail around & around in circles, never completing the task.
It takes a strong individual to be given that responsibility of being alone & be able to carry out the task at hand. You're in the position of authority for a reason. That reason--I do not know. Perhaps to help someone else in the future that will feel the same as you. With you being in charge, well you're the target. Look at President Bush--look at what he goes through--all the ridiculing. He takes the blame not only for things of the US, but also international matters! Look at how some of our nation behaves towards him. Some won't listen to his authority, there is immaturity, and blame.

The strongest individual I'll ever know is that of Jesus. He took on the sin of the whole world. Yet, he was without sin. God in the flesh.
He was ridiculed for stepping out & completing the task set out before him.
His boss (God) put a big burden on him too. The people had the Messiah right in front of them. He performed miracles right in front of them. He fulfilled prophecies told in the Old Testament by prophets. The same Old Testament the people read & taught. Yet, they were blind, & deliberately refused him, refused to obey. God speaking to them face to face in the flesh. And only few believed. So they crucified him, because he showed them the truth of their hearts--wickedness & they denied the wickedness. He pricked their hearts & emotions & they did not like it, so they killed him.

And it's through Jesus--the belief that he is, the belief that he resurrected & is preparing the mansion in heaven to receive those that believe. He is the way to God. Faith--believing & acting on what is unseen. Jesus said, those that have not seen him in the flesh, yet still believe in their hearts that he is who he says he is; will be blessed greater than those that have seen with their eyes literally & believed.
Not only is Jesus the way to heaven, but he can help you right now in your every day struggles. No, life isn't perfect without trials & tribulations when you get saved & receive Jesus as your personal Savior. However, through the Holy Spirit (also called the Comforter), you can get through those storms & dull days in life.
But it's your own choice to want Jesus. No force at all. Aren't things in life more fulfilling when you choose to do them without anyone else telling you too?
If you're expected to fulfill a task, and you do it without your boss telling you too, ahead of time. Isn't that fulfilling when you're told--a job well done? Even more so, if the people or the boss never, ever tells you that you did a good job--wouldn't it be more fulfilling to work to please God, the Creator, and Jesus the Judge of the world?
Life is work, but it is a very short time compared to eternity. Doing things in the mindframe of pleasing God has an aftertaste of rewards, when departing from this world. But those rewards only come from pleasing God now. Doing things on earth to give Him the Glory. He doesn't want you to be sad or hate your job or your life. But your struggles & experiences can be used to help other people--giving God all the Glory, and giving you a sense of Peace among turmoil in life.
That's the only way I can explain it. Just like horse training. You have to go through the experience to understand it, after it's all over. You have to try different methods, sometimes very unorthodox to get through to that particular, troublesome horse.
Maybe that's what you need. A new method.

::hugs:: aww I know how you feel. I like home schooling, but sometimes not having a social life much sucks. ::shrugs:: but i have my hrses to comfrt me. Theya re my rocks, troublesom as they can be at times. You can PM me any time if you wanna talk