How to Give a Cat a Pill!!!

Gallop N Gal · 01-28-2006, 08:42 PM

OMG!! I luaghed so hard when i saw this, here it is!!

How to Give your Cat a Pill

This is how to give your cat the pill

1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.

2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.

3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.

4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)

5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.

6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.

7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry.

8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!

9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.

10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.

11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.

12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.

13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)

14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man-or woman.

15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.

16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.

17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).

18. Take two aspirins and lie down.

LadyDulcinea · 01-28-2006, 08:46 PM

That is hysterical! I'm picturing having to give my cats pills and it would probably go something like that. I know how it is just deworming Andre...and that's a liquid that I give him with a dropper. How would have thought a cat with only his back claws could do so much damage? Bud wears his carhartt when we do it now. lol.

Horse Crazed · 01-28-2006, 08:51 PM

lol every time i read this it makes me laugh!! lmao

MyBabyTex · 01-28-2006, 08:52 PM

hahahahahaha.

I've never had to... let's hope I don't for a good long while lol.

Gallop N Gal · 01-29-2006, 11:45 AM

bumpity bum bump

crazy4horses205 · 01-30-2006, 03:17 PM

13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)

haha, I loved that one

Those are great, I was cracking up at the mental images the whole time

arabgirl15 · 01-30-2006, 06:41 PM

Hahah!! Loved those!!

arabiangirl171 · 01-30-2006, 06:46 PM

I was gonna say wrap it in cheese but those seem like some bright ideas!

monica-n-shiloh · 01-30-2006, 06:47 PM

And THAT ladies and gentlemen...is why I dont own cats LOL

01-28-2006, 08:42 PM	#1
Gallop N Gal Senior Member+ Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Land O' Cheese Posts: 4,007 Images: 717 Blog Entries: 2	How to Give a Cat a Pill!!! OMG!! I luaghed so hard when i saw this, here it is!! How to Give your Cat a Pill This is how to give your cat the pill 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger. 4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.) 5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well. 6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair. 7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry. 8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops! 9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos. 10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor. 11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant. 12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge. 13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.) 14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man-or woman. 15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon. 16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done. 17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours). 18. Take two aspirins and lie down. __________________ *It Takes More Muscles to Frown* ......Than to Smile!**

01-29-2006, 11:45 AM	#5
Gallop N Gal Senior Member+ Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Land O' Cheese Posts: 4,007 Images: 717 Blog Entries: 2	bumpity bum bump __________________ *It Takes More Muscles to Frown* ......Than to Smile!**

01-30-2006, 03:17 PM	#6
crazy4horses205 Senior Member+ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 5,149 Images: 334 Blog Entries: 2	13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.) haha, I loved that one Those are great, I was cracking up at the mental images the whole time __________________ ~Rachel and Tobey~ RIP Cody my sweet boy "If you throw your heart over the fence, your horse will go after it." Join the HGS prayer chain!! I <3 Green Day http://www.myspace.com/rachel9012 I've been boo-ed

01-30-2006, 06:41 PM	#7
arabgirl15 Senior Member+ Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: SW Minnesota Posts: 3,224 Images: 69 Blog Entries: 16	Hahah!! Loved those!! __________________ Monica To be believed, make the truth unbelievable. Napoleon Bonaparte

01-30-2006, 06:46 PM	#8
arabiangirl171 Senior Member+ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: in my guitar amp, it's quite comfy in here. Posts: 1,108 Images: 25	I was gonna say wrap it in cheese but those seem like some bright ideas! __________________ WET PAINT This is not an instruction

01-28-2006, 08:46 PM	#2
LadyDulcinea Senior Member+ Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Arizona Posts: 1,260 Images: 304	That is hysterical! I'm picturing having to give my cats pills and it would probably go something like that. I know how it is just deworming Andre...and that's a liquid that I give him with a dropper. How would have thought a cat with only his back claws could do so much damage? Bud wears his carhartt when we do it now. lol.

01-28-2006, 08:51 PM	#3
Horse Crazed Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 655 Images: 6	lol every time i read this it makes me laugh!! lmao

01-28-2006, 08:52 PM	#4
MyBabyTex Senior Member+ Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 3,187 Images: 65	hahahahahaha. I've never had to... let's hope I don't for a good long while lol.