[3WishesDun]

Hello everyone-
Being a horse lover/owner married to a non-horsey man, -I wondered if anyone else struggles with trying to balance the time/money/emotional committment horses demand with maintaining a good relationship. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a wonderful man, but even after 10 years of marriage, he still does not understand the hours it takes to clean stalls, feed, groom, hold for the farrier/vet etc. He doesn't say anything but I know he is baffled by my leopord print slinkie hoods, fascination with colorful halters, quest for the perfect flyspray/joint supplement/best quality hay, and on and on and on....

Over the years the comment, "you worry about those horses' dinner more than mine!" has been spoken under his breath.
His biggest pet peeve is the planning/work that has to be done to go out of town - finding a reliable person to feed/clean stalls/keep a watchful eye on 3 horses, a pony, 4 dogs, 4 cats, etc etc, is not always an easy task--
Ahhh well, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[MelissaH]

Occasionally I get the mutter under the breath. During the day, mon-fri I go down to feed the horses at 1:00 pm. Usually, no one but me is here, so no one sees me go down. A couple of times when he has been home from work early and I go down, I get the occasional complaint. Especially if someone calls the business line and he has to answer it! I use the analogy of, "if I have to go to the restroom and I'm in there 10 minutes, the machine picks it up." I will not answer the line when I'm on the potty!

Yesterday, my horse had mild colic and I went in to call the vet. He complained that I have had the horses a short time and they have been sick a lot. In reality, the vet has come out to give shots, float teeth and fix a bad old castration job that I had nothing to do with. The doc did not come out last night so that didn't count. I think he was in a hurry to leave because we were going to the mall. That irked me.

But I know he loves my horses too.

[monica-n-shiloh]

I work hard to be sure I make enough time for both Hubby and horses. Its definitely not easy. He has only made one comment during a heated moment one time about my time with horses and he DEEPLY regretted it let me tell you lol. I told him he knew about them before he married me and knew what it entailed....if he didnt like it he knew where the door was so dont complain. Never again has he said anything negative about my time with them LOL!

But yea, he doesnt get my facination with all things horse all the time either. Especially when it comes to clothes or halters like you said lol

[Kahluasmom]

Ok, I'm married for five years and have a 19 month old daugher, so spending alot of time with my horse just is not easy, mainly because I dont' have my own stables and have to pay to board at a place that is 20 minutes away from where I live. I do still get out there 3 times a week, but I feel guilty cause it takes away from spending time with my daughter. Occasionally I do get the roll of the eyes when I say I'm going riding or, "I should grow a tail and two more legs", but generally he's great about it and looks after Hannah for me until I come home. My ideal situation woudl be to have my own stables with my horse outside so I could be with him every day, but with the cost of land down here, that's probably never going to happen, so I have to make do with what I've got for now.

[philly78]

mine just tells me "hey they are yours if you wanna go with me on this trip find someone to care for them, he said he didnt want any part in my horses so the first time he started whining I told him "hey that is going to make you a part of my horses so you better stop" him whining was him stating his opinion on things I do with them so I told him that if he wasnt going to be a part of it he wasnt allowed to complain about it either!!
his friends get to hear it all now!!

[PaintedRocket]

Lol, well I'm not married..yet. My boyfriend supports my horse habbit most of the time, but complains that instead of going to the stables or driving 3 1/2hrs to see my horse, that on my days off I could do more productive things (how is riding NOT productive?!?!) such as cleaning up the house, doing laundry, shopping for household needs/food/etc.. When he first told me that, I ended up telling him he has laundry duty and cooking duty for two weeks. He doesn't complain anymore but said when we do get married, that he's going to buy some land so I can bring Rocket down here and maybe buy a few more horses. He's not so bad..

[sher327]

I am grateful my hubby and kids are invloved and understand my obsession! LOL It is very hard to manage my time between 4 kids,1 hubby, 2 dogs,2 horses and a cat
I am also blessed with wonderful horsie friends to blame for this obsession of mine

However, my non-horsie friends and family just look at me like I'm nutty when I talk about the smell of hay, bumps on my horse, how I need another bridle because mine doesn't match my saddle etc. I think it is impossible for them to understand the amount of time I invest in their well being and I get annoyed at them for not being interested.
Thank God hubby and kids are into this or I'd go bonkers!

[Sandra-A1]

I have several friends (male & female) who married non-horsey spouses...and I have to say that while they still have horses, they are no longer married.

I also do have a couple of friends who while they married people who did not share their interest in horses...2 have become horse crazy themselves and the other has a different interest but fully supports his wife's horses and horse showing, so there is no problem there.

It is VERY hard to be married to someone who does not share, or at least understands and fully supports, your passion for horses.
I was lucky and found a man who shares my "horse passions"...and while it might not be exactly on the same level as mine (I am obsessed ) he fully understands and supports me.
Right now our situation is rather funny too, because he is the one with a horse and I am the one currently horse-less...

[dallasbarnone]

i started out with the same as MonicaS said- i had my horse when i met him- i met him while riding my horse as a matter of fact- and my animals come first- so he (for the first ten years) didn't get it- but as time went by- and i got more horses that were abused - he actually bought two that i wanted to get out of a bad situation- and they are here still- i bought him a belgian mare(actually i wanted her out of the auction so...it WAS his birthday!!) he likes them - will go get hay if i need him to- and its alot of hay too- but he does it- he's just getting broken in now- after twenty some years! but he sort of grew into an animal lover from haveing it shoved on him- now he sort of goes and does his thing- hang out at a diner or whatever and i do mine with the horses- he even bought a bigger trailer so i could get more(or thats how i took it) hes been better than most to put up with it -i get him on the belgian-Dolly- and he goes trail riding once in awhile but he works long hours and his back bothers him- all in all i really think hes been pretty darn good about it all. but i cant get him to clean the house though!

[equineluver14]

I'm not married and i don't exactly have a boyfriend lol, but it drives me nuts sometimes because my familly, friends, and people around me are "non-horsey". I don't see how I could marry or date someone who wouldn't understand my...addiction. I think I would end up pulling my hair out.

My Dad for example, he was a race car driver and my mom complains all the time about it and sometimes I feel sorry for him (shhh). Pretty much my mom says the same things about my dad's race car, as she does about my horse addiction. It drives him absolutly nuts - to the point where he gets really angry.

I don't think I could ever handle being married to someone who doesn't enjoy my hobby with me.