[beauxdatious]

I got this from a website ITS SO FUNNY!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Like My Horse
(Much better than my ex-husband)

1. A horse will never ask to borrow money.
2. Horses are physically incapable of grabbing the remote control and keeping it.
3. A horse will never tell you that you cooked his dinner wrong.
4. A horse will never tell you that he's got another girl.
5. A horse will never call you up (drunk) at 2:30 am and ask for a ride home.
6. Very few bill collectors will call and ask for your horse.
7. When a horse hangs out with his buddies, they usually stay out of jail.
8. A horse is not aware of football, baseball, basketball, or golf seasons.
9. A horse knows no four-letter words.
10. Horses do not have to be forced to trim the lawn.
Contributed by Susan Grant

Who Can Open the Gate

This story takes you to a big pasture, filled with a lovely bunch of horses. A question has just been asked amid the herd.
Let's listen in on the conversation among the many breeds of horses.
............"Who Can Open the Gate?"............
Lipizzan: No need for opening it! When are you all going to learn how to fly?!!
Thoroughbred: I don't want to mess with that gate and I am too scared of flying! I will just jump over it and leave you all behind.
Paint: Yeah, what he said! Na Na Na Na Na Na!
Palomino: Forget it. Count me out. I am not taking any chances of messing up my chrome!
Arabian: You'll have to get somebody else to do it. I'm not messin' up my nails for no one!
Quarter Horse: Maybe if I push on it with my big buns, I could open it!
Standardbred: Pity on all of you. I'll figure it out, just give me some time.
Polo Pony: Wait just a minute, let me get my stick and give it a few bloody wacks!
Shetland: Let me at it. I'll break the stupid thing! Then you all can get out of my face.
Mule: Oh, let's just pack it in and call it a day.
Saddlebred: Now, now. I'll open it, if someone could help me with my shoes?
Fresian: I'll do it! Do you think it will mess up my hair? I always have such good hair days.
Mustang: Heck with opening it, how about I just run the whole darn fence over?
Belgian: Step back! You all aren't strong enough to do it. I'll do it. Oh, but what if I break it?
Morgan: There, there. I'll do it for you. No need to have such a big fit. Peace be with all of you. Is there anything else I could do for you after I get done with the gate?
Appaloosa: Oh, hush all of you! Ya big bunch of sissies. No one is leaving till I say so!
Percheron: I have already opened the gate while you all have been arguing! I even went down the next row and opened all the other gates. So it will be awhile before I have to listen to all of you argue again!
Contributed by:
Shelly Bataglia Mcloud, OK

The Beginning of the End...

A friend gives you a horse...
You build a small shelter...$750
You fence in a paddock...$450
Purchase small truck to haul hay...$12,000
Purchase a 2 horse trailer...$2,800
Purchase 2nd horse...$2,500
Build larger shelter with storage...$2,000
More fencing...$1,200
Purchase 3rd horse...$3,000
Purchase 4 horse trailer...$17,500
Purchase larger truck...$23,000
Purchase 4 acres next door...$38,000
More fencing...$2,000
Build small barn...$18,000
Purchase camper for truck...$9,000
Purchase tractor...$23,000
Purchase 4th & 5th horse...$6,500
Purchase 20 acres...$285,000
Build house...$185,000
Build barn...$56,000
More fencing & corrals...$24,000
Build covered arena...$182,000
Purchase Dually...$44,000
Purchase gooseneck w/living quarters...$45,000
Purchase 6th, 7th & 8th horse...$10,750
Hire full time trainer...$50,000
Build house for trainer...$84,000
Buy motor home for shows...$125,000
Hire attorney -- spouse leaving you for trainer...$35,000
Declare bankruptcy, spouse gets everything.
Friend feels sorry for you...gives you a horse.....

Submitted by Tracy

[Appy_Lover]

Appaloosa: Oh, hush all of you! Ya big bunch of sissies. No one is leaving till I say so!

LOL--- That's something my appy would say!! lol--thanks for sharing that--im still laughing--