[firestorm]

ok well i guess that this is a barn drama and a vent thread all in one.

It started a week ago, and as usuall around here, it involves me, my mom, and my daughter.
My Mom has been nagging at me to find a suitable horse for my daughter to show and told me to use a couple of the horses here at the farm as trading material if possible. So the other day I was at a local store and ran into this man who has a 12 y.o. reg. paint mare who is broke though green still because he doesnt ride, and he asked if i knew someone who had a young horse for sale or that might be interested in trading for his horse. I of course said I had been looking for a horse for my daughter. We exchanged #'s and I called my Mom and told her what I had found and if she still wanted to do some trading with the 2 horses we had here. She was all excited and said yes. The next day, something came up...i wont say what...except that it was to the tune of nearly $1000.
Anyhow, she ended up taking the 2 horses we had to the local sale barn and sold them to pay for her mistake. I got mad at her because I had to call the man and tell him I couldnt go through with the deal because of my mom. So to him now, I look like an idiot. And on top of all that, she blamed me for her screw up.
I asked her how she expected me to find my daughter a horse when she keeps undermining all the deals i try to make. She spouted off about this other horse we have here and said that if i would just ride him, he would make a good show horse. I retorted with the fact that i cant train his not so great conformation and turn him into a halter horse, and if she was so worried about his training, why was it that she never gets off her lazy butt and goes to the barn and ride. Her big thing is that she owns all the horses here except for my 4 horses, and she expects me to do all the work, ie. train them ride them and show them for her, fix the fencing, fix the barn, and her take all the credit because she buys the feed for them and pays the vet bill. I catch flack if i dont train her horses for her. I catch flack about riding them because when i do ride them, she has excuses as to why i shouldnt be riding right at that moment, like i have to drive her to the feed store.
And to make matters worse, my friend who had no business sticking her nose in agrees with my mom , and since they just recieved a bunch of money and bought 2 horses and is boarding them here rent free i might add, now my mom is sucking up to them, and i didnt even mention the fact that my friend is justing getting involved in horses and knows practically nothing. To her it was fine to buy 2 horses at the sale barn, and the very next day, put her 2 y.o daughter on one. Talk about insane. She doesnt even know how these horses act yet.
Also, suddenly, my horses are not good enough to be on this farm. Yes, one is not reg. but she is a nice horse out of my reg. paint mare and my moms unreg. paint stallion. The other is a shetland pony that we got for my daughter a few years ago and the last one is a reg. TB mare who has Man O' War, War Admiral and Seabiscuit as well as Forli, an Argentine champion in her pedigree. Not bad bloodlines IMO.
Any way, I have pretty much decided to give up on the horses and am selling most if not all of them as well as my tack and equipment. So far, I have an offer of $1200 for the TB. I dont think I will be riding horses again for quite a while, if ever again. I am almost 31 now and have been putting up with my moms **** all these years and i have had all i can take.
My friend who stuck her nose into all this wanted to know if i was still going to ride with her and i told her no, i wouldnt be riding again for a very long time, and she had the audacity to call me some thing very unkind. So, not only have I given up the horses, it seems i have lost a friend as well.

Sorry this is so long but I had to vent and welcome any comments on this situation... Thanks, RENEE

[arabkid]

Wow............I think there needs to be some separation happening from your mom. I am very sorry that you have to sell your horses, if I was in your situation, I think I would sell them as well unless you could reach an understanding with your mom. Your friend is very nosy I might add....I hope all goes well for you and your daughter!

[firestorm]

if i could afford to, i would move away from this farm. my parents and i have seperate houses, but still. I moved back home after a marriage in which my husband tried to kill me, and since we had horses here already and thats all i really want to is work with horses, i bought a trailer and moved here so i could do just that...work with the horses. But it seems that the only way for me to have peace is to just forget it all. I wish it didnt have to be this way, but i cant take no more, its causing my health to go downhill. I have loved and had horses all my life, but at this point in time i cant help but think that it just isnt worth it anymore.

[BarebackJourney]

I think you are just overreacting. Sure, you probably are upset about your mom and I know how parents can be. My mom has to put up with HER mom's sh*t all the time and is just about to blow her casket! >.< Anyway... my point is that you are mad right now, and shouldn't take it out on your love for horses. You still love them, right? Then move somewhere to take some time away from your mom. You and your daughter probably need it, and would like it. Who says you have to stick around there anyway? You are old enough to leave, because your mom doesn't OWN you. She may be angry, but it sounds she is like that just naturally. Maybe you shouldn't be around that. Maybe you should just find your own place to be peacefully... Oh well, just me. Hope this helps.

[CowGirlUp1833]

Well, I know one thing; Horses need to be something you can enjoy, otherwise its not worth it. If it is causing you this much heartache...get away from the horses w/ mom situation.... Even if you DO have to sell your horses (could you maybe lease them instead??) I wouldn't quit riding altoghether. It was once a source of joy, right? Could you afford to take a lesson a week at another barn just so you are staying in the saddle? I wouldn't continue on with you moms horse-business....you will end up hating horses...and no me, there is no greater tradgedy PM me if you feel like talking....

[Asfaloth]

Selling ther horse won't change your mom. Honestly what you really need to do is put some distance between you and her. Keep one or two horses for yourself for pleasure but sell the others. Is not one of your a good enough horse for your daughter to start on? If not you could sell all but one and look for something for her. Get them in another stable away from mom again as it seems to me that being around her is the cause of your trouble. She is probably just being a mom.Mom's tend to have a hard time not telling their children what to do even when they are adults. You really need to live in a home of your own also. Both you and mom need your space and time apart.Your daughter does not need to have a stressed out and upset mom.

Getting all angry and upset won't solve anything. Also if your friend is really a friend perhaps you should stop and just think about what she said to you. Really consider not what you heard but what she said. Sometimes when we are emotionaly reactive we don't really hear the intention behind the words. A real friend should be able to tell you the truth even if it hurts and you need to be able to realise that she is trying to be a real friend not just one who always agrees with you.

Not trying to make out that you are wrong just some things to really consider. Anger only hurts you. Being upset and angry is bad for your health so being mad at your mom is only hurting yourself, it's not worth it.