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Discuss Funny breeding stories ... at the Horse Breeding forum - Horse Breeding Forums.

This business never ceases to amaze me and the tales you hear from other stallion ...
  1. #1
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    Funny breeding stories ...

    This business never ceases to amaze me and the tales you hear from other stallion owners and stallion centres, as well as experience yourself firsthand, can leave you incredulous, rolling in the aisle laughing, shaking your head in disbelief - and sometimes all at once!

    Share your stories - Im sure that we could all use a good laugh - and I'll leave everyone guessing as to whether these happened to me, or I "heard them through the grapevine ..." ...

    Story Number 1:

    Client phones up and asks if her mare was bred that day and the Stallion Owner said "Yes she was".
    Client then asks if the mare was ALSO bred 2 days ago and the Stallion Owner again replies "Yes she was"
    Client freaks out, and says thats it - she is coming over immediately to pick up the mare and the incredulous SO says "Whatever for??? We were going to tease her tomorrow and the next day to see if she was still teasing in or not before we told you to come and pick her up" and the client replied "Because I dont want twins. I have heard that twins are bad in horses and if you keep covering her like that, she is going to have twins" ...
    Stallion Owner doesnt know whether to laugh or cry and asks where in heaven's name she heard such a thing and she said "from her daughter's riding instructor" and she was then asked if her daughters riding instructor was involved in breeding at all and the answer was no - she was not ...
    SO then suggests, as they are trying to choke down the laughing, to perhaps call up her VET and ask her if covering the mare more than once will result in twins being conceived and then goes further and asks if this woman was to have relations with her husband 2 or 3 times that night, if she conceived as a result, does that mean SHE'D have twins or triplets as a result?!
    There is silence on the end of the line and the client, in a very small voice says "oh. I see what you mean. I'll leave the mare there until you say she is ready to come home ..."

    In another case, Mare Owner wants to be involved in the breeding process and she asks the SO if she can hold her mare while she is being covered and the SO reluctantly agrees to allow her to do so ...

    All is well and good until the stallion turns the corner and enters the breeding area and puffs up and screams to the mare and seems to grow to about 18hh tall!!!
    As he approaches the mare in full breeding mode, Mare Owner turns white, drops the lead shank and hightails it OUT of the breeding area, over the fence and stands on the other side, shaking and white as a ghost ...
    Thank goodness the mare was good, and was 100% ready to breed as she just stood there without being held and didnt even notice that her Mom was no longer with her any more!

    I always laugh though as my sister has assisted me in the past with some LC breedings and she is NOT comfortable doing so and has no qualms about admitting such ... but I have threatened bodily harm to her if she EVER was to drop the leadshank and hightail it out of there so she stands there, looking VERY white, but bless her heart - she does stand her ground!

    And on the note of my sister, years ago she is inseminating one of her mares and her better half is holding the mare while she is doing so and as the rod has gone in and she is pushing the semen in, the mare spreads her legs and decides that is a great time to pee!
    My sister is in a rather compromised position and cannot exactly LEAVE at that exact moment, so as she is standing there and her boots are filling up with pee, her hubby looks around and says "Did you not notice that XXX is peeing right now?" and she says (with boots about half filled with pee ...) "NO!!! You're kidding?! *I* never noticed that at all!!!"

    Okay - your turn - what stories do you all have to relate to make our days a little brighter?!

  2. #2
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    I remember the first time I saw horses bred, I was scared to death. I was like 16 or so, was working for some people that showed paso finos and they were breeding their one mare. I remember they had the mare in the indoor arena, hobbled, because she was known to kick, and the stud walked in on his backlegs. Scared the living daylights out of me.!!
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    The nose along scared me the first time I saw or heard it!
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    I handled a Clydesdale stallion years ago that "would loose it all" if he was the least bit distracted from his job at hand. Any strange noise or some object that caught his eye was all it took. He loved feisty mares and had no interest in a mare that would stand after one breeding. We had to bait him with his desired mare and quickly slip in the mares that would stand quietly.

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    We had to bait him with his desired mare and quickly slip in the mares that would stand quietly.
    It seems like SO many stallions are quirky like that ...

    Where we collected before, one of their SB stallions would only collect if 2 mares were present. One simply would not do the trick any longer and another one would walk in, take one look at the tease mare and decide he didnt like her that day and would get a thoroughly bored and disgusted expression on his face that SHE was supposed to get him excited and theyd have to keep switching mares until they found one that met with his approval that day ...

    he was their top stallion and commanded a HUGE stud fee and a lot of bookings, so unfortunately they had to cater to his whims and those whims pretty well changed each day with him ...

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    Aaaahahahahaha! I have tears running down my face from them stories...my hubby's in the other room asking me why I am laughing so hard!

    I guess my first breeding experience was kinda funny, I was helping my 2nd cousin breed her arab stud...she goes you hold the mare, and I will let Sadair do his thing, but watch what I do, cause tomorrow I will let you breed Sadair....so I am holding the mare, and watching, and he climbs up, and she grabs "him" and guides it in....I'm like Uh OK...next day, sure nuff, she takes the mare, and I bring out Sadair, and he goes to get up, and she's going hurry make sure he hits the spot...lmao, I was only 18, I am so glad it was just us two women there....roflmao...Cathy
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    These are really funny!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrueColoursFarm View Post
    Where we collected before, one of their SB stallions would only collect if 2 mares were present. One simply would not do the trick any longer and another one would walk in, take one look at the tease mare and decide he didnt like her that day and would get a thoroughly bored and disgusted expression on his face that SHE was supposed to get him excited and theyd have to keep switching mares until they found one that met with his approval that day ...

    he was their top stallion and commanded a HUGE stud fee and a lot of bookings, so unfortunately they had to cater to his whims and those whims pretty well changed each day with him ...
    I love that story! Horses remind me so much of dogs-such personalities!

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    Senior Member Belladonna's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahah gosh these are so funny.

    my friend who works with ann-maree louis at byalee helps handled Byalee Briar, a 17hh palomino sweedish warmblood who is the quiest thing in the world. Anyway one day he decided he didn't want to service a mare. so everytime he mounted he'd miss, mount from the side, or from an angle, It didn't matter if he set him up right he'd find a way to go on an angle. He did this about 8 times and they were getting thoroughly annoyed to say the least. So tracy put him in his stable and left him there for half an hour. when she took him out again for the same mare got it in first time no problem then proceeded to fall asleep on her and had to be physically pulled off the mare.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belladonna View Post
    hahahahahahahah gosh these are so funny.

    my friend who works with ann-maree louis at byalee helps handled Byalee Briar, a 17hh palomino sweedish warmblood who is the quiest thing in the world. Anyway one day he decided he didn't want to service a mare. so everytime he mounted he'd miss, mount from the side, or from an angle, It didn't matter if he set him up right he'd find a way to go on an angle. He did this about 8 times and they were getting thoroughly annoyed to say the least. So tracy put him in his stable and left him there for half an hour. when she took him out again for the same mare got it in first time no problem then proceeded to fall asleep on her and had to be physically pulled off the mare.

    I can totally imagine him falling asleep, typical male...roflmao....Cathy
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