Found Out Some Stuff About A Friend.......

i_luv_moth · 05-04-2005, 01:26 AM

I won't post because it isn't suitable to be on the net. Sorry i'm just trying to get this into my brain.

I found out some stuff about my friend today After Scool and i actually felt pretty weird about being with her after she told me. I mean i still like her as a friend and stuff but it was just DODGY what she told me. I laughed and went along with it like my other friends but we all looked at eachother and then we suddenly felt really uncomfortable. I tried to change the subject and she went extremely red in the face and said that she thought she could tell us without us being freak,ed out. I said that we weren' freked out we were just abit shocked that she would do something like that......

One of my friends is having a situation like this aswell but she is SENSIBLE and she really luvs this guy.But my friend has been dating him for like FIVE MINUTES and shes already done something,couples wouldn't do until they are like married or something.

If this is unapropriate i don't mind if u close it but i just want to know what i should do.She needed someone to talk to so we were there,but she knws how bad we feel about her,and i'm not sure if i can ever be friends like properly with her again. I don' wanna tell her i feel sick when i look at her because that'll make her think she has NO-ONE

What should i do.............

jeda_horse · 05-04-2005, 03:07 AM

Just be there for her when she realises her mistake I guess... People do make mistakes and inappropriate decisions and do silly things when encouraged... maybe she will realise that it WAS a silly thing to do based on the situation and then she will really rely on you and her other friends to be there for her...

Basically people grow and mature at different rates and start to try different things maybe she felt she was ready to do.... whatever it was she did, lol. Anyway if you want to talk more about it feel free to PM me...

horse_luvr83 · 05-04-2005, 07:38 AM

i agree with Jeda. maybe she just felt ready to try something, and since we dont know exactly what it was, i can't tell you if i would be uncomfy with her as well. maybe you should talk to her one on one and ask her why she did this. try to be upfront and understand her reasoning before you quit being friends with her.

Dancinglite · 05-04-2005, 10:02 AM

The fact that she told you something no suitable to be revealed her tells me that it is weighing on her mind and she understands that her actions were not in her best interest.
A good friend will support and criticize, in both a comforting and tutorial manner. Someone that just says that's ok rarely feels that way. What she needs most is someone to be there and guide her to a less rocky path.

CowGirlUp1833 · 05-04-2005, 10:04 AM

Louise, I sent you a PM...I didn't respond earlier because I thought this was in Kids Only (Duh, way to read!)

TrickPony · 05-04-2005, 02:04 PM

Um... well, I've got to admit that in my experience, talking to her isn't gonna help much.
4 of my best friends from middle/high school ended up getting pregnant before they were 18. I tried to help all of them, took them to the doctor, stayed up chatting for HOURS about what to do... all of it and they still ended up getting pregnant.

It's such a hard situation, but I think she needs you to support her. Don't condone her innapropriate behavior, but don't reject her either. That will just drive her to do more stuff with guys that she's probably not ready for (just guessing because you're like 14 right?)

I'm sorry I don't have any better advice, but please don't start talking trash about how... um... easy she is (or whatever the situation may be). She needs you... and support is the best thing you can give, and then hope she'll make good decisions. Hope that helped.

horse_luvr83 · 05-04-2005, 02:14 PM

i agree with you about not talking trash about her. people make mistakes, i just hope she knows the consequences of hers. i was pregnant before i turned 18, BUT, i am married to his father, and i was 18 when i had him, i finished school, and i am now looking into going to college since he's almost old enough to start pre-K. i had to wait and post-pone my plans for my future, but that's b/c i wanted to be a stay at home mom with him. am i saying being pregnant before 18 is good thing,NO WAY!!! i have had a great family support me, and most of my CLOSE friends i still associate with, and they love my son and have no problem with him tagging along!!! just let her know you are her friend, you don't approve of her actions by any means, but that is your choice not hers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrickPony

Um... well, I've got to admit that in my experience, talking to her isn't gonna help much.
4 of my best friends from middle/high school ended up getting pregnant before they were 18. I tried to help all of them, took them to the doctor, stayed up chatting for HOURS about what to do... all of it and they still ended up getting pregnant.

It's such a hard situation, but I think she needs you to support her. Don't condone her innapropriate behavior, but don't reject her either. That will just drive her to do more stuff with guys that she's probably not ready for (just guessing because you're like 14 right?)

I'm sorry I don't have any better advice, but please don't start talking trash about how... um... easy she is (or whatever the situation may be). She needs you... and support is the best thing you can give, and then hope she'll make good decisions. Hope that helped.

Elia · 05-04-2005, 02:16 PM

She's a human, too.

I'd advise you not to be so disgusted about it, she admitted a MISTAKE to you.. she TRUSTED you guys with the information.. personally I think she made the wrong choice in talking to friends about it, though, b/cs honestly do we at our age really know the long-term effects of fooling around with that stuff?..But yeah, IMO it should be in your best interest to be there for her. You would want her to do the same for you if you were in this situation, wouldn't you?!

horse_luvr83 · 05-04-2005, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elia

She's a human, too.

I'd advise you not to be so disgusted about it, she admitted a MISTAKE to you.. she TRUSTED you guys with the information.. personally I think she made the wrong choice in talking to friends about it, though, b/cs honestly do we at our age really know the long-term effects of fooling around with that stuff?..But yeah, IMO it should be in your best interest to be there for her. You would want her to do the same for you if you were in this situation, wouldn't you?!

you made a great point here. i agree with you though,i think she should have talked to her parents first. b/c if she is active, they can get her more help than you as a friend can. she needs to get on birth control, that's for sure!!

Elia · 05-04-2005, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by horse_luvr83

she needs to get on birth control, that's for sure!!

Birth control only encourages the behaviour.

05-04-2005, 01:26 AM	#1
i_luv_moth Senior Member+ Join Date: May 2004 Location: New Zealand BABY!!! Posts: 6,818 Images: 133	Found Out Some Stuff About A Friend....... I won't post because it isn't suitable to be on the net. Sorry i'm just trying to get this into my brain. I found out some stuff about my friend today After Scool and i actually felt pretty weird about being with her after she told me. I mean i still like her as a friend and stuff but it was just DODGY what she told me. I laughed and went along with it like my other friends but we all looked at eachother and then we suddenly felt really uncomfortable. I tried to change the subject and she went extremely red in the face and said that she thought she could tell us without us being freak,ed out. I said that we weren' freked out we were just abit shocked that she would do something like that...... One of my friends is having a situation like this aswell but she is SENSIBLE and she really luvs this guy.But my friend has been dating him for like FIVE MINUTES and shes already done something,couples wouldn't do until they are like married or something. If this is unapropriate i don't mind if u close it but i just want to know what i should do.She needed someone to talk to so we were there,but she knws how bad we feel about her,and i'm not sure if i can ever be friends like properly with her again. I don' wanna tell her i feel sick when i look at her because that'll make her think she has NO-ONE What should i do............. __________________ I'd Rather Be...... SHOW JUMPING!!

05-04-2005, 03:07 AM	#2
jeda_horse Senior Member+ Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: QLD, Australia Posts: 5,448 Images: 393 Blog Entries: 28	Just be there for her when she realises her mistake I guess... People do make mistakes and inappropriate decisions and do silly things when encouraged... maybe she will realise that it WAS a silly thing to do based on the situation and then she will really rely on you and her other friends to be there for her... Basically people grow and mature at different rates and start to try different things maybe she felt she was ready to do.... whatever it was she did, lol. Anyway if you want to talk more about it feel free to PM me... __________________ ~ T H O R O U G H B R E D S ~ County Renegade Fyrefly Throw your heart over the fence and you horse will go after it... R.I.P Rusty

05-04-2005, 07:38 AM	#3
horse_luvr83 Senior Member+ Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Huntsville,Tx Posts: 4,813 Images: 218	i agree with Jeda. maybe she just felt ready to try something, and since we dont know exactly what it was, i can't tell you if i would be uncomfy with her as well. maybe you should talk to her one on one and ask her why she did this. try to be upfront and understand her reasoning before you quit being friends with her. __________________ "If my horse doesn't like you, what makes you think i will?" My video http://media.putfile.com/Toby_Crook

05-04-2005, 10:04 AM	#5
CowGirlUp1833 Senior Member+ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Holland Lake Shore, West Michigan Posts: 16,582 Images: 411 Blog Entries: 37	Louise, I sent you a PM...I didn't respond earlier because I thought this was in Kids Only (Duh, way to read!) __________________ www.Equine-Endeavors.com Proud mom of Rusty and Stevey - the 2 best red-heads anyone could love!

05-04-2005, 02:04 PM	#6
TrickPony Senior Member+ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Fort Collins, Colorado Posts: 2,600 Images: 241 Blog Entries: 23	Um... well, I've got to admit that in my experience, talking to her isn't gonna help much. 4 of my best friends from middle/high school ended up getting pregnant before they were 18. I tried to help all of them, took them to the doctor, stayed up chatting for HOURS about what to do... all of it and they still ended up getting pregnant. It's such a hard situation, but I think she needs you to support her. Don't condone her innapropriate behavior, but don't reject her either. That will just drive her to do more stuff with guys that she's probably not ready for (just guessing because you're like 14 right?) I'm sorry I don't have any better advice, but please don't start talking trash about how... um... easy she is (or whatever the situation may be). She needs you... and support is the best thing you can give, and then hope she'll make good decisions. Hope that helped. __________________ "I do what I please and I do it with ease." I've been booed!

05-04-2005, 10:02 AM	#4
Dancinglite Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,972 Blog Entries: 13	The fact that she told you something no suitable to be revealed her tells me that it is weighing on her mind and she understands that her actions were not in her best interest. A good friend will support and criticize, in both a comforting and tutorial manner. Someone that just says that's ok rarely feels that way. What she needs most is someone to be there and guide her to a less rocky path.

05-04-2005, 02:16 PM	#8
Elia Senior Member+ Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Earth, of course. Posts: 307 Blog Entries: 16	She's a human, too. I'd advise you not to be so disgusted about it, she admitted a MISTAKE to you.. she TRUSTED you guys with the information.. personally I think she made the wrong choice in talking to friends about it, though, b/cs honestly do we at our age really know the long-term effects of fooling around with that stuff?..But yeah, IMO it should be in your best interest to be there for her. You would want her to do the same for you if you were in this situation, wouldn't you?! __________________ "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." ~Maya Angelou

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