[blair399]

Teach her some tricks, do lots of brushing, bring her for a walk in hand etc...

I know how you feel, I had a mare I never bonded with and never even shed a tear when I sold her. We didn't "click".

[shepherd406]

We've already been to two shows this month & we have one next saturday. She needs some work outside of just the game show & she needs a good bath too. Maybe some cookies in there somewhere.

She's such a mare though.

Her pasture buddy, Dillian, was shy at first. Now he lets me do anything with him. I even swung up onto his back & walked around the pasture. My mare isn't lovey like Dillian though. He loves being rubbed & loved. Harlee just wants her cookies & to go back to whatever she was doing

[mftx4]

Some are like that, just kind of aloof, some it just takes a little longer to warm up to you. With Cinnamon, I think it was a matter of just no one spending that one on one time. She seeks me out now even if she just hears my voice, she looks for me.

[belsenj]

It took my mare 8 months to bond with me, so be patient. Sienna knows when I come to the barn and stares me down until I get to her now. I did use treats because she's does not get pushy at all. All horses are different in that regard, so you have to be careful.

It took a long time, but now she comes to me when I call her, lowers her head for the halter and is very sweet. I know the highlight of her day is when I come to the barn because she perks up and then it's all about us being together. Whether it's just standing together while I talk to her, or groom her, or hand graze her - it's our time. She really loves when we just stand together and I rub her neck, talking to her softly. I give her massages too, after I groom her.

In the beginning, because she was a rescue, I always made sure she had hay and then I did her grooming while she ate - she really appreciated that.

[shepherd406]

Thanks for the help & encouragement. Things have been crazy lately, so hopefully now that I've settled back down into a routine, I can get out there & play more.

[OregonRain]

i know how you feel. I just bought Jewel at the beginning of this month and i realized the other day that i don't really bond with her enough. I board her (she is in training) and i am the one doing most of the training (my riding instructor helps a lot though!) with her but i just make sure to take extra time to brush her down and talk to her before i take her out of the corral before we go into the arena. I also stick around after our work session and just talk to her from over the fence and rub her head and itchy spots.
at the beginning of this month i was feeling so guilty because my life was insanely hectic and all i had time to do was feed my animals and then take off for the day. now that i have more down time, i am making up for lost time and just making sure all my animals (sheep, alpacas, cats, and dogs included! not just the equines!) get lots of love

[goldiesmom]

PATIENCE!!!
(even though I say it to other people..I still have to remember to have it myself
Mares are just that..MARES!!
In my opinion (correct me if I am wrong) geldings generally have an attitude of "love me love me please love me!!!" from day one and generally trust you from day one as well...mares are a lot more stand offish in my opinion (most..not all), in the wild they have to be though (horses being a prey animal v.s us dogs and cats being a predator animal)..It takes work, time, and patience to be able to develop trust with them..but boy once you have it, it will be worth the time and effort you put into it! I was a first time mare owner a year ago, and I couldn't understand why she wasn't the same as the gelding I leased! haha it was/still is some days a challenge but she knows EXACTLY who I am in the saddle or on the ground she is not the same with anybody else......so patience my dear after all this bonding you and her will have a fantastic relationship!!! Keep us informed on how it goes!!!

[noreins]

I agree with a previous post that it tends to be a 'mare' thing. They are a bit harder to bond with IMO but once you do bond with them they tend to be the best friends you can have. You board her don't you? Sometimes the best thing to do it just put a halter and lead on one and take them out to a pasture to eat grass and curry them while they eat. Occasional treats are nice too And they love to feel like they are safe with you, like you are taking care of them. My horses neigh at me as soon as I step out the back door. My filly was a little harder to become friends with but now I feel closer to her than I do my gelding. It really comes down to them feeling taken care of. If my gelding is scared or being harassed by another horse, he comes to hide behind me... all 16hh of him lol! I think skipping a show day to just enjoy time with her would be nice. Maybe even do a little training with something she is really good at and make sure to let her know how good she does. Horses are mind readers, if you lover her she will know it and respond Good luck!

[shepherd406]

Thanks everyone. It's reassuring that it's a mare thing. I was hoping she didn't just not like me. I really haven't taken the time to bond with her though, & that's all on me. She still kind of backs off when I try to be lovey, but once I hit a sweet spot, she stops & enjoys it. haha.

I'm taking this saturday off & spending it with her. I plan on really cleaning her up before our ride, doing some work on our gaming events, maybe let her cut loose & run a little, taking her for a ride around the ranch (our normal cooldown), then really cleaning her up afterwards.

Maybe take some round pen time & just get her used to actually SEEING me again. haha.

[noreins]

LOL! We all can promise you it is a mare thing And I'm glad to see you are concerned with bonding with her. I went though a time like that with my filly, I thought for sure she hated me guts, turns out we are just too much alike and mares really do take more work to bond with Have fun and keep us posted!