[PeggySue]

Michelle regardless of the end result (we know he is gonna pull though) you will know you did the right thing for him

[freedom32]

So happy to hear the swelling is going down. I'm checking in regularly for updates, Blister has alot of prayers going up in his behalf.

[BirdieGirl]

I can definitly see an improvment when I look at those first pictures compared to the ones you posted here. YAY! Way to go Michelle (and vets)!

[4hooves4me2]

Wow, what a tremendous difference. He has a horse head now instead of a long snauze!

He looks so much better-I do hope he continues the climb back up!

[ryu2832]

When my dog had her mystery illness I got the same questions. She had a temp 104-106 for two weeks, bleeding from the nose heavy enough that she was slowly bleading to death.

Most of the time the vets felt that they still had things to try, then they left it up to me and Dee. She knew she was gravely ill, but wasn't ready to go--so we kept on.

They rotated out dual antibiotics every 48 hours until they found a combo that lowered her temperature and in the meantime biopsied, cultured, scoped, did a spiral CT--never found a thing.

That was four years ago, and she will be 13 this Sept.

You're right, there is a limit. When recovery possibility is almost none, when chronic pain is the best prognosis, when financially you are risking everything--there is a limit.

On a happier note. Blister looks great today! Good day, here's praying for another tomorrow! Hang in there.

[Haas Horse Farm]

Michelle,

I work part time for a local vet and I too know that look. I have been the one several times to suggest having a horse put down because they were at that point. I know that if that time comes you will be smart enough to make that decision. Pain is always a big factor for me. Thinking of you and Blister. Very big hug and lots of prayers.

[Blistering Winds]

Thanks guys. I'm going to go to sleep, with a hope both him and I sleep well tonight.....

The little bit of difference definitly lifted my spirits today. Hopefully, it isn't the rise before the fall.......


Thank you everyone.

I PM'd you BBJ.....

[megan_kat22]

You're handling this amazingly Michelle :]. I admire your courage, and I think it's being transferred to Blister, he sure is fighting hard. I'll be thinking about him tomorrow- praying for a happy ending to this crazy story :]

[Peg D]

Originally Posted by Blistering Winds

First, if I may, I know some readers may be questioning why I didn't let him go Monday.

This is why. For one, he was doing good up until then. Around 11:30, his face swelled. It took about 3 hours to get to the point he was at. It hit hard, fast, and none of hte bloodwork done showed why. Shoot, nothing in the bloodwork is explaining him anymore. Kidneys are "ok", anemia has come up some, platelets are excellent (suprisingly when you look at his face, his platelets should have bottomed if you read the texts).....and his organs are still holding good. Muscles are not registering...but expected with as much damage before and currently.

Monday night, I felt I had not done everything. The vet and I were and still having issues communicating with each other. He thought I would not do fluids, and I never heard him offer them. It took too long for me to put two and two together (lasix and fluids together I can do, at least one treatment) to see if there was ANY help. He was not to the point he needed a trach, but he needed fluids or needed to be put down.

I opted to go one last shot. When I made that decision, it settled. At this point, if he did not respond by tuesday morning, with one treatment, ANY signs of help....he would be let go. At that moment, I knew I have done everything I could, to give him the best shot possible for something that occurred very quickly and still, no real reason to why it is there.

I am never offended if you ask. Please, feel free to pm me or post. Either or. I've asked myself the very same question.

Monday, I saw a horse about ready to give up when I saw him. But we had not done "everything" reasonable....note the word reasonable.....to help him fix this issue.

It came on hard, fast, and without much warning. And still, no real answer to why his head blew up the way it did.

However, I gave strict orders, that if he couldn't breath on his own, and needed intervention, to put him down. Don't have to call me. Just do it. I have the papers signed, and that order still stands.

If he relapses hard again, he will be put down.

However......tuesday morning, he could breath without struggling. He was eating, he was drinking. Things he could not do the day before.

He walked, painfully yes, but he walked freely to me (I had grain...go figure)

He walked back to his hay, then back to me.

He did this again tuesday afternoon, the swelling around his eyes had dissipated, the front legs could see differences, and the upper body is showing differences in my opinion.

This morning, I did not see him.....however


Now, he has definition to his face........WHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO






THIS is why I did not give up. Not yet. I felt something was missing that we weren't doing. With everything I know already, putting him down was not setting right with me.

I've put down a lot of animals in my time. Good reasons and bad. (not mine, but others)

I've see the look of "I give up" on my last horse, Sassy. Her hips, hocks, and who knows what else were busted up. To the point I saw it in her eyes.

WHen you've seen the look of PLEASE help me....you will never forget it. It is universal in animals.

I thought I saw it.....I can't tell you for sure if he was ready, but he was hurting yes. But tuesday morning, he put his head in my arms again...looking for attention, looking for loving, and looking back, hopefully he was thanking me for knowing what I know, and having that digging feeling that something was missing, something wasn't right. Something we are missing that is SOO SIMPLE....and it is to a point....

He's on so many meds/treatments/etc right now, but that face right there, sends home that if nothing else, I've given him a few more days to try.....


He's my baby. But I am ready, and comfortable, if tonight he turns for the worst, to say goodbye, because I have done everything I can for him at this point.


It is hard to take the life of another. I've taken more than I can count at this moment over the years working in vet clinics. Human or animal, making the final decision and putting it in YOUR hands and no longer in the power's that be.....I have to be sure I've done everything I can. And that includes within my finances. I thank the powers that be every day for the vets I have. Including the one that currently is caring for blister, regardless of how we get along or communicate. Because he's willing to fight, and willing to work with what I have.

Not everyone has this ability to have more leway than what the current pocketbook has available. And I understand why some may have issues to why I am still holding on. Hopefully, seeing the difference, will allow you to at least see.

I've had him since he was 5 months old. We've been through several tough spots together. He's been there when no one else was....or was available to help.

He's taught me a lot over the years we've been together. And I've put him through a lot.

It is the least I can do for him, when I don't see the definite "please, let me go" in the eyes....I see pain, I see hurt, but I see life, I see bright. And I've taken a step back.

Both my vets don't see it. If it wasn't for the head blowing up like a balloon, the current vet wasn't ready to let go, and would have tried talking me out of euthanizing. With the head, he wasn't going to stop me...but he said, and I quote...."I don't think I'm quite ready to give up on him, but at this point, I'm doing everything I can"

That is why it was so hard to let go monday. Between a very good vet at a loss, but not sure if he's ready to give up, to not sitting right with letting go....and I have let go of my animals various times.....never have I felt so uncomfortable as signing those papers with blister.

Cuddles, my cat....she meaned more to me, to be honest, than blister. I had her for 18 years. She to the day she went into the clinic, was my baby, I call my mom...and you can ask her...she'd try to grab the phone and purr and meow....and I'm miles and miles away...(husband is allergic or she woudl have been with me) And I let her go. Shoot, I had to talk my mom into it....

I can let go, but things can't be uncomfortable. I cannot let go with "what if"

Except for financial reasons....then I live with the fact I couldn't...not that I wouldn't.

At this moment, it isn't what I can or can't do, it is what I will or won't do.

Please, feel free to PM me if it isn't settling with you why.

Because talking it out, to be honest, helps ME make the decisions SO much easier. Even the hard ones.....

BUT, that's my update and addressing those that may be wondering.....cause I know just from experience on this forum, there are some wondering....cause I've asked before myself why someone wouldn't let go.....when from the outside, looking in.....it look like the best choice.....

Gawd Michelle you brought tears to my eyes with this post.

[JCH]

Originally Posted by Peg D

Gawd Michelle you brought tears to my eyes with this post.

me too .........