[NicDearborn]

My wife has a 4 y/o Arab that I am desperately trying to get along with.....around my wife, she is a princess who never does anything wrong. My wife raised her from the day she was born and I married into her about a year ago. When it is my day to turn her out, I get nothing but problems. Refusing to walk, rearing, stepping on my heels etc...My wife says that I am punishing the horse when I shouldn't be, and not punishing it when I should be....can anyone tell me when I should be stern and when I should lighten up???

[kellidahorsegirl]

Ummm she sounds spoiled by the mom

I would suggest that you carry a dressage whip with you when you're leading her. When she won't walk, reach back and tap her on the hiney to get forward movement. Don't pull on her, just get her to go forward and as soon as she takes any kind of step, praise her.
When she rears, same as the walk,,,get forward motion and then praise.
When she steps on your heel, just reach over and give her a tap on her chest, tell her to back off...when she does praise her.

she doesn't know that you, too, are the boss of her. She is testing you. So you need to be firm at the slightest inkling of disobedience and then immediately praise and/or lay off the firmness as soon as she does as told.

[4hooves4me2]

Spoiled Rotten!! LOL! It happens a LOT when they are babies!

Good luck getting the upper hand. Kelli had some good pointers for you! When they DON'T do what I want, they do a LOT of backing up. Seems to not be their favorite gear, so to speak!

Goodluck!

[lil nicky]

Acctually she is not spoiled rotten. Nic is new to the horse world he isn't educated enough to know when to and how to punish her correctly. Every horse person at every barn can handle her just fine. I believe he is asking

....can anyone tell me when I should be stern and when I should lighten up???

[kellidahorsegirl]

Well I answered when to be stern and when to lighten up.

She is spoiled in the sense that she knows she can act up with him,,,if that makes more sense.

[trail_rider]

I wouldnt say she is spoiled, but is testing you. young horses will test their dominance. I went threw the same thing with my 2 year old. (fun times ) when cody would get pushy with me i would just make him work. eventually he learned that it was just easier my way: walk nice and be polite. I think that kelli summed it up pretty well!! *thumbs up* keep working with her. good luck!!

[ches]

I would ask your wife to be specific. Have her walk with you and tell you what behaviour is acceptable and what should be punished. Your wife obviously has her figured, so she is your best guide in this.

[PeggySue]

Sounds like the problem I have here my mare is a heathen with my BF but does not do anything when I am there.. she will chase him and everything.. if he hits her with whip she runs behind him to get him..

Needless to say I am gonna watch this one to see what advice is given..

OH BTW my mare only does it when she is loose if he puts a halter on her she is an angel

[cheval_charme]

Horses are very very very smart. They have this keen sense about knowing who's going to make them behave and who might not. So I'd guess she's testing you to see what she can get away with.

Discipline should be elevated as needed. By that I mean, if they act out say they won't lead. Use a stern voice. If they don't respond, use a light tug. If they still refuse hard tug. If they still refuse tap them on the but with a crop or whip. Tap - not smack.

Rearing should never be acceptable. If she's doing that then it'd be a good idea to have your wife show you what to do. That's a really dangerous habit for a horse to get into - regardless of whether they are testing you or not.

Without seeing the horse or knowing more from the post it does sound like the horse might be a bit spoiled but like I said, it's hard to know without more information. That was the first thing I thought when I read it but I know a lot of horses where I board will test new people handling them to see what they can get away with.

I'd suggest watching your wife and how she disciplines the horse and follow that. Then let your wife watch you and give you tips.

One of my favorite books is the New Basic Training of the Young Horse by Ingrid and Reiner Klimke. Since you are newer to horses, I think you'd really enjoy reading it. Lots of great advice.

Good luck!

[cheval_charme]

Another thought, some horses do not like men. Period. My horse doesn't. And there's a couple of mares at the barn that do not like men.

And horses are perfectly able to show jealous type emotions so it could also be the horses don't want you the owner (or 'their' herd) being with anyone else. Just a thought.